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Thursday, December 20, 2012

And what is this country that we live in ????


Everyone is on the roads protesting against the heinous crime that has been committed on the young girl in Delhi an I know I too must raise my voice through my words. I know I must participate in the protests and show solidarity; but I am so sickened by what our men are doing and what our country has got reduced to, that my hands are shivering while typing…not out of fear but coz of disgust and anger. Nothing anyone can say or do will give back to that girl and so many thousands like her what she lost in those 45 minutes. A life of dignity, a life of freedom from fear and a life which hoped that the future will be better.

All we can do is ensure that we never ever forget the shame of being part of the same society which also nurtures people like Ram Singh and Pawan Gupta and Akshay Thakur and Vinay Sharma. And perhaps that shame will force us to treat our women with the respect they deserve, ensure their safety and enact more stringent laws to punish the abusers!

I want to share two extremely valid points of view which should make us reflect and ponder on what hell we have descended to as a society and as a country which clearly and repeatedly is telling its girls and its women that we don't want you around any longer!

The Hindu writes: Perhaps the real tragedy we must contemplate, as we consider the story of the young woman who now lies in a Delhi hospital bed battling for her life after being brutally beaten and gang-raped Sunday night, is this: in six months or less, she will have been forgotten. There will, by then, have been the next victim, and the one after — and absolutely nothing will have changed. Ever since Sunday’s savage crime, India’s political leadership has been loudly engaged in what it appears to believe is advocacy of women’s rights — in the main, dramatic but meaningless calls for summary trials, castration and mandatory death penalties. The same leaders will, if past record proves a guide, do absolutely nothing to actually address the problem. For all the noise that each gang-rape has provoked, Parliament has made no worthwhile progress towards desperately-needed legal reforms. Even nuts-and-bolts measures, like enhanced funding for forensic investigations, upgrading training of police to deal with sexual crimes, and making expert post-trauma support available to victims, are conspicuous by their absence.
How does one account for the strange contrast between our outrage about rape — and our remarkable unwillingness, as a society, to actually do anything about it? For one, we are far more widely complicit in crimes against women than we care to acknowledge. The hideous gang-rape in Delhi is part of the continuum of violence millions of Indian women face every single day; a continuum that stretches from sexual harassment in public spaces and the workplace to physical abuse that plays itself out in the privacy of our homes far more often than on the street. Nor is it true, secondly, that Delhi is India’s “rape capital.” There are plenty of other places in India with a higher incidence of reported rape, in population adjusted terms — and Delhi’s record on convicting perpetrators is far higher than the national average. Third, this is not a problem of policing alone. As Professor Ratna Kapur argues in an op-ed article in this newspaper today, there is something profoundly wrong in the values young men are taught in our society — values which bind the parental preference for a male child to the gang of feral youth who carried out Sunday’s outrage or the hundreds of thousands of husbands who were battering their wives that same night. Finally, India’s society rails against rape, in the main, not out of concern for victims but because of the despicable notion that a woman’s body is the repository of family honour. It is this honour our society seeks to protect, not individual women. It is time for us as a people to feel the searing shame our society has until now only imposed on its female victims.


And Farhan Akhtar points a finger at the same shame…………………………….
“What is this country that I live in?
With no equality, and the quality of life differs from husband to wife boy to girl, brother to sister Hey Mister, are you the same?
Contributing to the national shame Replacing your mothers With the bent ideology of another’s perception that women have a particular role in society
Fills my heart with anxiety Where is all of this going? What will emerge from these seeds that we’re sowing?
It makes my head spin But I’m not giving in Will keep asking the question What is this country that I live in? What is this country that I live in?
That takes away her right to love Brutalises her with an iron glove Rapes her without fear Of there being justice for her tear
We’ve demeaned our goddesses Gone back on all our promises Become a gender distorted nation Given our conscience a permanent vacation What do I tell my daughter?
That she’s growing up to be lamb for the slaughter We’ve got to make a change Reboot, reformat, rearrange, and never give in No matter how much your head may spin
Just keep asking the question What is this country that I live in?”

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Missing in Action with MYRA!!


Hi Friends,
I have been missing in action recently since a few months. I too missed blogging, but enjoyed the early days of motherhood with my angel daughter- MYRA.



MYRAH....
she came
with an inaudible wail
a teeny-weeny bundle
all pink and frail
my world toppled
my eyes shed a storm
my being catapulted
as I hugged
my daughter’s tiny form
gazing onto
my flesh of a flesh
elixir to my soul
an independent life
yet making me whole …..

Now I am back with a new phase, new learnings and a new life.. do follow me for the interesting upcoming blogs and findings.

Also would like to share with you that my last blog -Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage has won me a prize with Indiblogger. Thankyou to all my readers !!!

Smiles and Smiles :))
Shadan

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Love ya Arranged... live happily ever after !!!!


From Simran running to catch the train for Raj in DDLJ ; or the wedding woos of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Vivaah!!!! We have all grown up seeing love stories or big fat Indian weddings courtesy our Cinema industry. And whatever is the showcase – an arranged one or Love… they both end with a tagline of ‘And they lived happily ever after’. But what really happens after, is a mystery for all!

Since ages this has always been a debatable subject. I love you or I will start loving you…Be it basis the feelings or Commitment, marriage is still a gamble with life, some pass through as winners while others struggle irrespective the kind of union.

Girls in our country grow up reading fairy tales and dreaming of a prince charming but when reality crosses, many of them are left heart broken. Their big expectations out of their partners and the rozy picture shown in movies that they relate with for themselves, turn baseless when the man chosen by their parents turns a little less romantic. He does things for her but her expectations still lay higher so she is not able enjoy those small moments. In our Indian society, kids are grown in a protected shell and are not allowed to talk to strangers but when it comes to marriage, they are suddenly asked to sleep with one. Weird but accepted by many!!!

All our lives, the only thing that most of us are seen to be chasing is that ‘ONE MOMENT’ when you say ‘yes I do’. Contrary to the societal beliefs, I feel it’s all about finding the right person, then be it an arranged or love marriage. Even if the person is chosen by our parents, we should have a good courtship period, to have enough time to build an understanding with him. And for those already dating, one should set aside priorities and see the practical side of the relationship, coz love is always in the air, but sometimes it vanishes later in that air itself, then it comes down to commitment and bonding you share. So no matter how and what set up you followed, every union comes with some rough patches, and one has to just understand that you both are from different world, grown up in different environment and help each other settle together, overlooking the negatives and polishing the positives of your partner.

Even though dating and India are still not good friends and it is something older people frown upon seeing it as a 'secret rendezvous', with changing times, today many of our parents compromise on their beliefs and accept our choices, turning it into an love cum arranged set up of a big fat Indian wedding! So Indian society too is growing up and the concept of marriage has evolved. These days the trend shows that many youngsters date, have relationships and heartbreaks but when it comes to marriage they rely on their parents for that perfect partner. This is, of course, a far cry from how most of our parents met. Now, however, it seems young Indians have the option of really getting to know the person they are hoping to marry.

Marriage is a road that you two build and then walk together on it, on the way gifting each other flowers of compatibility and fruits of compromise, cause even though marriages are said to be made in heaven, they have to be nurtured right here on the earth. So all out there planning on your marriage, don’t think about if it should or have to be arranged or love…. If you happen to find that one person who makes your life worth living, then simply go for it! 




** THIS POST IS DONE EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE INDIBLOGGER CONTEST ON THE TOPIC "Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage"

Monday, July 30, 2012

A simple breezy thought !!!



Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.~ from The Wonder Years

I believe there is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where the air is softer,  the colours are brighter and the mornings more fragrant than ever.

My garden brings these rolling thoughts....
My dad playing and running after us in the lawn while enacting the story of little red riding hood.
Me and my cousin getting up early in the morning and cross the park fences before it opens so that we can get on the tamarind tree and get our handfuls for the day. 
Me and my brother fighting over the bicycle to ride in the park. 
Picnic to the dam and mountains around with mom and dad when I used to try and pose for each picture clicked and borrow the villagers chulha to cook some delicious baatis. 
Mom watching from the balcony and cheering us up, when we used to show off our cricket skills with our neighbor friends. 
Going to farms at grandmom’s place to get bag fulls of mangoes and green grams, later hiding our share from everyone else. 
Everyone sitting with bucket full of mangoes competing to see who eats the most. 
Sketching the view from the balcony during my summer vacations. 
Climbing on dad’s shoulders to peak in the ventilator space to see if those pigeon eggs hatched in the nest on our ventilator space. 
That friendly goat who used to knock our doors every morning to get some chapatis or veggies. Those surprise rainy day leaves when our cycle speeds used to increase while coming back home, to play football  in the ground. 
Those Sunday’s when mom washes our clothes and we were buzy making bubbles using soap water………..

I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what you are going through now or whatever is happening in your life today, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is. For me it’s my childhood spent with brother, mom dad and cousins….What’s your pick??

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

New emotions ..and a new life!!


Apart from waiting to see a tiny mix of you and your love….Frequent mood-swings… unexpected cravings for food you never liked… weird sickness almost every other moment... helplessness for smallest things like a dropped book… undisturbed sleep during nights… packing up all your fav dresses and heels for almost more than an year… shopping for those ill fitted clothes and waiting for the time when you can shop for the ones you loved on the racks.. yearning to go on a backpack vacation…. These are all the thoughts associated with a mom to be.  

Time you are expecting, initially can leave you confused about the new phase… then slowly comes the feeling of something floating in your belly, then this float changes to kick boxing and dancing… reminding you always that she is inside you. You will feel like you have never been this sick in your whole life, have never had so many medicines or met a doctor so frequently.  Sometime it feels, is it really your body, is it really your belly which used to carry jean of 26” waist size?? seeing your old pictures, you feel you have really grownup (or may be blown up lol). All this is complimented with weird stares from men and women both, just that this time their sight is fixed on your bump not on your ***. Manytimes you feel really pregnant but not for others and they treat you like a normal being, when you know you are struggling, especially at work. Suddenly many people will start behaving differently and you would wonder how my baby can affect their attitude, didn’t they once went through the same phase?

Suddenly all the images of pregnant women that one sees on TV or in movies wash out and you remember the words of your parents, that this is one of the most difficult yet fascinating phases of a girl’s life. These difficult months can turn into a blessing when you see your husband making dinner for you and trying his best to lessen your pains. It actually bonds you both better. Enjoy the time, click your pics of this time, coz they will turn into memories later. This is the best time to be pampered and when you can indulge in every delicacy guilt-free. So enjoy the moment, it’s a part of our life making us feel magical while developing a life within us. I am enjoying.. did you???

{{Sad to hear that now infertility is increasingly becoming common amongst the new couples due to uncertain lifestyles and improper eating and sleeping habits. Many are opting for assisted conception live IVF. Wish all the women, expecting a baby or trying for one in future, all the very best.}}

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Flatter me Hun !!


We all women love an ego massage every once in a while, especially when it comes from the right person, at the right time and place. Many a times an ego massage can surpass a Swedish or  aroma or chocolate or ayurvedic massage. And when it comes from your man, you feel, you just touched cloud no. 10.  

For me, I know my husband is one of those guys who talks true to what he feels. If he doesn’t like the dinner, he will say it no matter how much energy I put in preparing it. So whenever it comes, I thoroughly enjoy my ego being aired by my man. I love it when my husband acknowledges or praises my writing or the food or any advice, no matter if it is in his simplest words or in my ears..

What’s your story?

Won’t you feel proud, when your husband says you work really hard and manage everything quite well. Or when he lets his parents know that you take good care of their son and that he’s very well fed. Or when he doesn’t bother about your extra natal kilos and still excitingly clicks you saying you are still beautiful being plump. Will these simple compliments boost your confidence and give you a trippy kick ?

Is India really shining !!!!


The traffic, the overcrowded metros and buses, the long commuting hours, pot-holed roads, ever increasing pollution, forever lasting construction of city infrastructure, dealing with corruption while coping with work pressure and moreover the 'Indian' work culture that requires you to spend more than 10 hours in office, then going home to demanding in-laws and dealing with even more demanding new-gen kids . Who said we are living the good life in this tomorrow’s economic super power?

According to a survey, Indians were asked to evaluate the quality of their lives as "thriving", "struggling" or "suffering" and 31% chose suffering compared to the global figure of only 13%. This proves our life quality really needs an upgrade. Are our well-paying job and the existence of corruption at every level, the deciding factors when perceiving our life quality.

How do you feel, when you have to change two trains and then take bus or auto to get to work everyday, that takes approx. 4 hours of your precious time daily, which could have been spent with you kids and family? Yes you may earn well at the end of it, but what is the point of it, if you cannot enjoy a stress free evening with your loved ones?

I wouldn't call this a great life, where you have to constantly struggle to outrun others. Today many of us don’t even remember the last time we took a vacation. No matter where you go from roads to platforms to hospitals or even movie theatres, people are always in rush. Doctors don’t spare more than 5 minutes for you, no matter what your ailment is…. in the daily queues everyone will be equally in hurry…. On top of everything, there's a scam in everything.

It's nice to hear and think of India as a rapidly growing as economic power and will soon out do many other developing countries. But does this thought matches when one walks down any street… the experience is enough to bring you back to reality. The gap between the rich and the poor is so huge and so visible. From a person in high end chauffeur driven cars to the one on bicycle with his wife on the carrier and child on the rod infront… the contrast is massive. And while on one hand, the infamous recession sword hangs over our head, on the other hand, there is a price hike in everything, from veggies to petrol to clothes and land. There is almost nothing that you can call a guilt free purchase.

Not going materialistic, if we just see around us and the environment we live in. Many of us notice a concrete jungle with no trees or fresh air to breath, then if we venture to go on a weekend break to a nearby cleaner and greener destination, we bump into a crowd of people trying to do the same. “Wish I was not living in a developing country”, sometimes this thought surely does come in our bugged mind.

Are we left with any option, for a certain lifestyle or to fulfill our or our kids dreams, we have to work through all these challenges smilingly and hope for the best, believing in what we hear.. that India is developing ! This is just to calm and soothe ourselves every evening after a struggling day, but then again a new day begins with new dares ….

So Is India really shining, What’s your take on this ???

Monday, June 11, 2012

A pair of jeans is just not for you….


Yesterday I read not one but two shocking cases of biasedness against girls in this day and age, which kind of forced me to write this post…. First was a quote by the principal of a Kanpur College, Meeta Jamal, that says girls who wear jeans will be expelled from the college, since this is the only way to stop crime against women…. (What ???? excuse me!!!!)
Second was that a Haryana man beat his wife in a marketplace when she was out shopping with her parents wearing jeans.

In this issue, I can’t say a man is biased against women, there are women too who live in some centuries old era as well. When the man in above incident was asked his reason for the act… he said….

Do you know what this means…. ??? tomorrow she could ask for more… may be to keep her girl child also??? Or the right to be educated and work???

What do you think girls... being able to wear what we like… is about being disrespectful to society, especially when it’s a pair of jeans, which has the capability to hide all the nudity of the women… didn’t he see that when travelling alone, she can jump and run, even over the fences or cross road without the fear of tripping over.

Why… isn’t it just a pair of blue denim jeans??
No.. it is not!!!

Many UP and bihar colleges ban it!!!
Managlore bans it
Taliban sacks it
Grand parents criticize it …

And all hypocrites hate it!!!

Moreover our society’s conditioning is awesome… … If I say, Fine, Denim is a western trend… but

Our men all over, be it any age or size, flaunt it proudly… choose the latest trend amongst it…arent they being modern!!!!

But fashion is not for girls…. Does it symbolizes freedom… independence or something beyond!!!

I would say it’s not the man but the fear that has been instigated in him since childhood by the well-known patriarchal society of India.
The notion that girls should wear in a certain way, just like many other things, she should do in a certain way.

Why some men cant think of supporting her choices. I have seen men who stood by their wives (my dad is one of them), and generally when a man stands with his wife, nobody in India says anything anymore.

In the mentioned case of Haryana man, why was he so ignorant? Because he has probably grown up seeing men disrespecting women and teaching them how to behave. May be domestic violence is a part of their life in this part of the country… And we have seen the result of such thinking!!!

What he would have probably thought is ..WHAT WILL OTHER ELDERLY PEOPLE THINK (MOSTLY ELDERS IN FAMILY, NEIGHBORHOOD), IF THEY COME TO KNOW THAT MY WIFE IS NOT A SARI-CLAD WOMAN, but someone who can wear Jeans (still considered modern in most part of India). This would probably give a bad name to me and my parents as well. But he forgot that, she is an adult as well, a married woman, and she was shopping with her own parents! AREN’T A GIRL’S PARENTS ELDERS IN THIS COUNTRY!

Why is being modern a kind of terror for many… the terror that made this man beat his wife while she was shopping with her own parents!! What has happened to our wonderful family values, and this social system that prevented her parents from taking that violent bully to the court!

No wonder that nobody wants to have daughters in Haryana?

It’s not only about wearing jeans, we have issues with a girl having any say in her own life. The jeans are just a symbol used here. There are many other such restrictions. It’ s more about not letting her go out of control. About hypocrisy, insecurities, selfish parenting, and inferiority complexes. And the problem is not limited to man being biased towards women, but there are women  like Meeta Jamal too…

Just think, how would you like to be in such a situation? With a family that doesn’t really care for you, and wants to control every part of your life? Just think. We are human and sometimes that can make us very inhuman!



Monday, March 12, 2012

It’s Time to change…. the Attitude !!!!


Let your mind travel places, do you still see the same world where women had to hid behind veils and kitchen & chores were their lifetime thankless job??

Decades have passed, women have changed today to believe they too are equal beings... but has the patriarchal society accepted this?? 

There are innumerable atrocities on women that we come across almost every day, through any medium, that leave us horrified…. Girl abducted in a car, raped and dumped… minor girl abused and molested…  The word rape has become as common today as inflation. No sensitivity attached. The word is blurted out with utmost ease. Think of the woman who has faced it; think of the kind of humiliation and low self-esteem she had just felt. But wait… there are many people out there who are even worse… Having said that, let me share with you an episode, which gave me a glimpse of how men (some but still a big proportion of our society) see women….

Sitting through an engagement party, sipping from my glass of juice, noticing the environment around - exactly the way it is in typical Delhi weddings - women cluster together discussing clothes, jewellery and the beauty packages available in the leading beauty clinics.  And on the other side of the hall, were the men... spread like kings..... and discussing everything from cars, stock market to scams and politics.

I, being an introvert in this kind of surrounding, was quietly sitting in one comfortable corner, shifting my focus to the two types of conversations of the ladies group and the men group. It was great to see the expression on the groom’s mother describing her daughter in law as a combination of traditional and modern…. The other side focus was on Anna Hazare and Elections.. I was enjoying it all, infact some discussions I wanted to be a part of but restrained not wanting to interrupt. Then the men went on taking a dig in the Delhi’s law and order situation and how unsafe the city has become.

I got distracted by the mother-in-law statement saying she admires Vidya Balan and would be wearing a red sari on the wedding day. I was pleasantly surprised, since these days when even brides are opting for lighter shades she would be dressed in blood red saree, though she of course was quite pretty and looked young! Shifting my attention back to the other side of the hall, where the host (the father in law) stood up to fill his glass of drink and said "Rape? what rape? Eh, are you talking about that Dhaula Kuan case? come on!"

(Just to remind, The incident happened in December 2010, a 30 year old call centre employee from north east india, was dropped to her place near Dhaula Kuan around mid night by her company cab, when she was abducted by 2-3 men, gang raped and abandoned at another place.  The whole city was under shock for many months due to this incident. It was then, when the guidelines were made for the BPO employers to safeguard the women employees who work at night shifts.)

The host continued - " What rape? it is not rape....these girls are like that only.... they roam around with men....sleep around with them.....and now when someone has done it... they shout saying ‘he raped me’... what rape? is it rape for them? shehhh! " Half of the men there rhymed.... "oh that is not rape... they ask for it... these chinki girls"..... and the rest half were mute, who somewhere didn’t agree but chose to be quiet.

Then another man, proud on his awareness said, "and that Jessica case.... did you all see that movie… who was she to refuse a drink? she....selling alcohol to men in parties at night... and then says 'No' to give a drink..... obviously the boy will get angry?.... so what... after all...he was a man… why would he take rejection from such a girl ". God saved them and the topic was changed quickly...... coz I was loosing my cool and really wanted to intervene.... I so wanted to.... was forcing myself to kept quiet since I was a guest there.

Ladies were still buzy with their women topics, and I was observing the contrast..... noticing the irony of the situation. So ignorant was the lady of how her husband thought about women in general and she goes on talking about her beauty and home decorations..... and here I sat quite aware of both the sides, yet sitting over the issue, gulping down the juice in my glass, as if swallowing the insult to my womanhood poured in the form of that drink.

It’s such a pity, that we live with such ignorance and with such a big facade??

But, the one thing that really disturbs is that, there is a big chunk of our society which feels that a girl invites rape by her dress and conduct.... there is a section of the society which feels a man should not be blamed, if it's the girl who has titillated his senses... by wearing deep necklines or short dresses... then he is only a man... and it's not his fault if the woman is so tempting. Is it a 'thing' that they see tempting and want … Helloooo, its time to grow up, see outside, today girls can beat you hollow, if they want, in any field.

Are there only bystanders in the name of men who are walking the streets of India? Seeing all this, I pray to God to invent a breed of real men now, who are not just men biologically but are men in the true spirit of the word. New age and new India needs them. We need a makeover people. It’s time to change the attitude, the mindset!

** Post done exclusively for Stayfree Time to Change Contest. 
https://www.facebook.com/sftimetochange 

Friday, March 2, 2012

Restless with The Chalta hai attitude !!!


Most of us must have witnessed the growth Delhi has seen in the last few years… from shopping malls, modernization of local markets, infrastructure, flyovers, metro rail, hotels, stadiums and much more…. Every one living in this city is happy of the facilities given as a gift from our government, (inspite of many hidden corruptions and claims), but does everyone knows how to respect it all??? Even after so much or urbanness and modernization I still notice the civic sense missing in many, then I wonder, do we even deserve all this development?

Somewhere the sense of responsibility is missing, I feel restless when the urban educated class behave like some rowdy school kid or a runway prisoner… (excuse me but no references in particular). It’s  not about anything that has just happened to me but something that I have been seeing since a while around me, be it in malls, parks, metro station, on the road or anywhere.

We do clean our garbage bins, put them in garbage bags securing with knots, and then many throw them behind the house in the back lanes or on the side of the road or in an unconstructed plot around, we travel in cars but don’t think twice before throwing the empty wrappers and bottles outside on the road. Then it’s the same people who ask questions seeing a dirty park or road, what does municipality do… Nobody does their work properly?? But what about us, whose road is that? Whose city is it? Who is living in here? … why do we fail to understand its our city too and we owe some responsibility towards it ….

Talking about a particular incident.. I and my husband went to Lohri celebrations at the India Habitat Centre and there was a dinner buffet available to you in exchange of a coupon per person in Rs. XXX.00 . We took our coupons and were enjoying our lohri special dinner… mind you it was an educated high class gathering (infact we were feeling out of place seeing those highly clad uncles in Burberry suits and aunties with their coach bags and their equally  classy families), then an argument caught our attention… a significantly dressed couple who were serving themselves and their plate was over flowing with the food, and when a catering staff reminded them one coupon in only for one person. The lady very curtly started arguing with him saying not to teach her what buffet means… ALAS !!!! it was annoying!!! where is your civic sense lady, did you go to school only to learn English speaking and nothing else???

Similar incidents happen almost every day with all of us, example the queues… do we really know the meaning of following a queue, NO!!! like at metro stations people break the rubber barriers to get through under them and reach the start of the queue… I once softly asked an intelligent looking lady, in her 30’s may be, to please follow the queue for security check, but instead of agreeing that she was wrong, she says please adjust, chalta hai!!!

Whay should I adjust with you??? I wonder what her children learn seeing her living with this chalta hai attitude!!! In malls, parks sometimes I feel sick  seeing the clutter and the mess… many a times when I enter mall’s washroom, the whole area is tarnished with tissue papers and wrappers on the floors, and I can’t believe the same ladies and girls are carrying shopping bags from mango, reebok and adidas.. Out of misery, I clench my teeth and mutter to myself in disgust "we are like that only, han?" but Why are we like this ??
Is it only our attire and accessories that defines us, what about the attitude!!!

Does somewhere our past is impending in our minds? Our forefathers were the people who left their worlds behind when they came to India after partition.  Some are well settled now, some are still struggling, but mostly living a  comfortable life now, after 2-3 generations having faced tough times.  Sorry to say that, but that mentality to collect whatever we could for our families still exists in us, when we want to collect more food in our plates, when want to encroach that every inch of road space to include it in our verandah, when we want to fool/ cheat anyone to get the electricity meter budged, when we keep our houses clean and don't give a damn to how badly we have littered the road or the parks, it been shown but now it hurts.  How-so-ever well-off you become, you need to tune your sensibilities with time.

Let's try to correct ourselves atleast and not to pass this to our next generation, let our kids have a better place to live and feel proud about.

Let's get our acts right, before our kids ask us - "Are we like that only? … Why is everything chalta hai in India?"


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I am an independent women… but **sigh** it doesn’t help???


Sometimes, the burden of being an independent woman gets too much. It makes me too strong to lean on anybody, forces me to have a mind of my own on everything.

Grown up with under the protection of a women with unbelievably strong ideas, someone who changed many things in that time and age and a man who helped me follow my dreams. I grew up to be an overwhelmed feminist during my college days and believed my economic and emotional independence was a right I couldn't be denied. But after years of being one handling the changing dramatic life…  it gets tiring, fighting every minute to be what you want to be. It would be so easy to give it all up, but believe me it isn't. There are not one but many days when I want to let this whole idea slip off, of being a strong willed emancipated thinking woman and stumble in nothingness. Be vain, lead a life like other simple married girls I know are living and let people ride over me without minding it.

But there's a voice inside me that won't allow me to do any of that, spurring me on to shun all vestiges of dependence, holding me up when I would rather drop down and rest. It isn't easy to carry on at all times, showing myself as a brave girl, but it's lot more difficult to stop or turn back now.

Sometimes I feel sad for women around me who haven't had the privilege to come into their own yet by choice or not. There are days when I feel jealous: wouldn't it be easy to let others' decide the course of your life, to go with the flow simply, rather than walking against the tide? And here I am, struggling everyday with the small and big decisions of my life - from managing daily chores at work to thinking about the alternatives when I can give it all up to have children, from making small mental notes about how I would bring up a son or a daughter to helping spouse evolve out of the patriarchal society he grew up in. I look at the other metro women who don't consider marriage at even 30 and then I look at my cousins and friends who have had children in early twenties itself, and how I wish I wasn't stuck somewhere in-between!

It's very easy to say 'Go with your heart' or ‘Do what your heart says’. But opposites wrench my heart making me feel mysterious to myself!

Monday, February 27, 2012

Television can also judge you !!!!


Television is a part of my everyday life.. reach home, grab a glass of water, some snackiee or fruit, switch on the TV, and push FAV button. That’s what I do when I reach home. I like to watch soulfull  lively characters and funny series with some meaningful factors here and there. Something in which I don’t have to apply too much of my mind to. After all after day long work, another heavy watch is not what u would want ? I have a special place in my heart for bollywood movies and simple hilarious characters of daily soaps- Suhana (Sasural Genda phool) or Khushi (Is pyar ko kya naam du). I love watching them in free time when am too tired to even think. I know sometimes they are silly but make me laugh surely. When it gives me pleasure at one time, the other time it can be equally irritating, like it was while watching a few reality shows.

All these simple pleasures of life, feels so wonderful when you look back through them but it depends on you how you would want these, especially television, is it a real box of entertainment or a box of information or box of irritation. It can give you numerous memories from silly remote fights with brother or spouse to the news coverage of disasters happening in another corner of the world that you witness live sitting on your couch. It surely is one discovery that has evolved not only urban but also the rural India.

But what if you are to be judged based on what you watch on television….

Then I guess I am one confused soul … lollzz

I WATCH
  • Master Chef
  • Nigella Feasts
  • Highway on my plate
  • Chakh Le India
  • Etc etc
Going by that, I'm sometimes a glutton, a gourmet, a closet-chef, a connoisseur. But I won’t call myself any of that, yes I love to eat anything that pampers my taste buds, but actually think twice before trying my hands on it…

I ALSO WATCH:
  • Roadies
  • Bigg Boss
  • Khatron Ke Khiladi
  • Splitsvilla
  • Band Bajaa Bride
  • And sundry reality shows
Does that make me a drama queen? A vain observer?

AND I ALSO WATCH:
  • Hindi soaps like Sasural Genda Phool, Is pyar ko kya naam dun and a few more
Does that make me a couch potato? A soap junkie?

AND I ALSO WATCH:
  • Travel shows like
  • Confessions of a travel Bag
  • Free Fall
  • Life’s a Beach
  • No big deal
  • And News, debates or coffee shows
Does that make me an intellectual, a thinking viewer, a half-geek?

so based on this, what kind of a person are you, if we judge you by what you watch on TV?



Thursday, January 19, 2012

Photography of Life


Passing through an amazing moment, I wish I could capture them to relive them when I feel low. That’s what photographs does sometimes to us, the older the better…  I am not a good photographer, coz that’s a talent that not every body owns, but the one’s who have it, are the ones who can capture moments of not only their lives but others too. How lucky…!!!!!
Birth and Birthdays, Lunches and dinners, marriages and anniversarys, fortunates and less fortunates; animals and beaches, laughter and romance…. Its photographs that becomes a mirror to your life… A picture of you smiling at the camera is a postcard gift from the present you to the future you and it says. “ You were having a good time”.
The first dish you prepared, the first time you met your soulmate, the first child, the first birthday…. It’s a the deepest emotions that come out through the lenses.. Lenses know it all…
Everyday may not be good, but there is surely good in everyday… hunt for that good, be it through the lenses or your thoughts. You will surely find a reason to smile and that’s what means clicking everyday in your life…

Click Click, smile please !!!
**smiles… I have got my moment**

PS: **Blog Inspiration came while watching a photo video by Afghen’s photography**

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