Turning fantasy into reality.... We Chit Chat!!

“Whoever you meet on the path called life helps you explore yourself a little better.”

These words are of one of my friend who loves to go philosophical. But this time she was right, even though for me there are many more people whom I have not met or talked to but have helped me see my life in a different way.

Latest technology trends have opened many grounds for us, from  blogs and books to social media and television, even if it is pure entertainment that we indulge in, it still makes us realise the importance of having a laugh or switching off our minds for a while. Usually I hate talking on phone, (wonder how people stick to it for hours), and prefer chatting, some how it gives me more freedom of thoughts. Coming back to the list of people I would like to chat with, on the newly launched WeChat group, actually there are many but I am hereby giving the top 10 of my list.......

My Mom

Soon after I entered my teenage, God took her away from me. The days when other girls dream about their prince charming, I have grown up seeing her in my dreams. But I am happy and feel lucky to have met her atleast that way. A chance to chat with her no matter how would be divine for me. Even if I get short of words then, still the feeling of her being there to listen to me would be eternal.

Sophie Kinsella

Any girl in her 20’s who likes to read would love reading her books, she is one of the reigning stars in the chick lit genre. Though Shopaholic series are her most popular ones, but my favourites are-The Domestic Goddess, Remember Me? and Can you keep the secret? I still re-read them every few months. I identify with the lead characters and have fun with them. Chatting with Sophie would mean talking to all of my, those, fav characters in a go.

Aamir Khan

Like many other Indians, I liked Amir Khan and his acting skills. Loved many of his movies like Andaz Apna Apna and 3 Idiots, though disliked many as well, one of them being Gajini. But it was only when he did Satyamev Jayate, I started admiring him and his work. He worked towards betterment of this nation like a true citizen (afterall how many of the celebrities do we see doing such work, no matter how much he earned through it, is small in comparision to the awareness the show generated), then he took his mom for the sacred ‘Hajj’ fulfilling his duty of being a true son, he turned down ad endorsement offers worth a few crores saying it lacked social relevance. WoW! A personality to salute in todays day and age, when we see people going gaga over money and fame. Surely it would be an honour to talk to him once in my lifetime even if it means a small ‘Hello’.

Sexy- The little girl in the movie Cheeni  Kum

Do you remember her? Yes she is that tiny 9 year old girl, who was dying of leukaemia in the cool humourous movie Cheeni Kum also featuring strong actors like Amitabh Bachchan and Tabu. She was the cherry on the cake in this movie. Confidante Swini Khare gave life to the whole storyline with her small role. With a few days life left to live, she had it clear how to have fun in those days and live life to the fullest. Inspiring and adorable to watch. Would like to chat with this life inspiring small girl ‘Sexy’ to have some fun together and may be talk about those adult movies she was craving to watch... lol.

Oprah Winfrey

Guess, everyone who knows her, would like to meet her once in their life.  An inspirational lady of substance. You would be amazed to know she was fired from her first job because she was called ‘unfit for TV’, and today she is topping the list of 10 most inspiring personalities. There is so much to talk to her about from her success story to her life of being Oprah.

Chetan Bhagat

Chetan Bhagat is an Indian literary icon, yes I too love all his books. But more than his books I loved his sense of acceptance towards the changing Indian society. He left his high profile banking job in Hong kong because his wife had got a better paying job in India, only to become a house husband or a stay-at-home dad for his baby. He utilized that spare time to write his books,  which turned him into a bestselling author of the nation. His started a revolution, and till now I don’t know of any other male who has taken such a step. Moreover, his articles and blogs oozes not only fantastic style of writing but also opinions that matter to every women out there. A today’s man who understands that he shares this society with females of similar calibre and respects feminism. Being a feminist writer myself, I have enough to chat about with him.

Mark Zukerberg

We all know him! His name is a book that tells the story of social media. My introduction to social media was through his baby that’s ‘FACEBOOK’. I am not a media junkie but I adore his intelligence which produced this idea. Afterall I found my husband among many other friends through it. Let’s Chat Mr. Zukerberg, now we have WeChat!

Walt Disney

Every girl on this planet, grows up reading fairytales, dreams of entering a princess castle in real and meet her favourite damsel turned princess characters. It was he who turned this dream into reality for us with his Disney parks. His name is synonymous to the cartoon series we have seen in our childhood, which still adds smile on our faces. Yay!! I can talk fairies with him.

Andrea Sachs

You guessed it right! She is the same size 12, casual chic who doesn’t hesitate before eating that burger with extra cheese and still makes it to one of the biggest fashion magazine as assistant to the editor Miranda Priestley, a job for which millions of girls would die for! What next? She dumps this high profile job but still get positive feedbacks from her boss and makes it to her dream job. She was the one who motivated me to take up Mass communication and my career got a direction. What a luck, if I get to chat with her!

Vidya Balan

I never realised she was one who appeared in that slimy role in the popular TV series ‘Hum Paanch’.  Look at her today, she has created a niche for herself not only in Bollywood and also amongst the Indian women. She looks glam and carries the national attire Sari with grace and elegance. Atleast I can get tips on wearing sari perfectly (my brother’s wedding is coming up), apart from talking about her journey toward being the best in bollywood. What a boon for a movie buff like me!

Tanya Chaitanya

Wondering who she is? “All the women, You are FEMINA!”  She is the editor of my most read magazine ‘Femina’.  Every time when I get my hands on an issue of Femina, first thing I read is the editor’s note, and each time I utter the word ‘Awesome’! I would like to know how she gathers her stories, and frames it to such engaging content that every time I pass a bookstore I can’t resist picking the new issue of this magazine.

That’s my list of top 10 people whom I would like to chat with on WeChat Group. Hope it turns into reality and does not remain a fantasy!

[Created for Indiblogger & WeChat contest - http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=81

Also check out the amazing WeChat - Chat with anyone, anywhere commercial on you tube here}

DIY Hair!!! Romancing with my tresses...

Growing up to the age when fairytales remain age old tales and we start believing in what’s real. From Bollywood to Hollywood, we idolize the actresses for their amazing tresses and dream to have similar hair ourselves. We even end up feeling jealous of that girl next door or on the metro for having such perfectly set hair every time.

Deepika and Kareena’s on screen looks leave us wanting for more and we think we too deserve to have gorgeous natural hairstyle. We try to copy their styles but our uncooperative hair leave us shattered. Our daily worry is to style up our hair and in turn it frames our mood for the day. Good and the bad hair days!

Today lot of us take the easier way and go to a saloon and leave it up to them to either turn you into an enviable princess or an OMG item to talk about at the gathering. I play it simple mostly, by either choosing a hairstyle for myself on web and instructing my stylist to apply the same or DIY my hair with many tutorials available online, provided my hair behaves.

My choice this time is Athena braided hair accessorized with a glam headband complimenting my floral summer dress and I am ready to rock. What’s better, a matching headband for my mini me (my daughter) and out we are for a friend’s kid’s birthday party. I and my mini Diva earned many applauds in the evening and all thanks to Tresemmé hair products, that made my hair life easier, as GLAMming it up is no more a rocket science.

Guess our market was waiting to adorn such a product that can turn a normal girl into a stylish chic and give her ramp ready hair.  Yes, ofcourse, you have to do it with confidence and right technique (watch Tresemmé’s you tube video for this perfection), like I did.... VIOLA!

Tresemmé helped me leave stunning impressions by wearing my hair like a diva. I styled my hair like a pro at home in a jiffy and it turned my belief into my trust in this amazing product. Braid or bun; twist or turn or naturally loose, style it yourself and romance with your Tresemmé tresses, it won’t let you down!

[Post done exclusively for the indiblogger's TRESEMME's RAMP READY HAIR contest ]

I love being a mother to my adorable daughter

My daughter is the most precious gift I have.

When ever I want a miracle to happen

I look at her and realise I have already created one!

With every passing day I love her more

It's now, I realise why I love my mother so much.

I feel special, 

I feel proud that my daughter will feel the same for me, what I felt for my mom.

Each day I plan for something new for her

What clothes, what headbands, what bed, what decor...

I have everything already planned in my mind. Now its for her to choose.

I loved shopping for myself, 

but now my eyes lay only on those cute lil clothes I want her to wear.

No one else will ever know the strength of my love for her, 

after all she is the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from inside.

Truly I feel blessed being a mom to my darling daughter 'Myrah'.

4 questions to ask yourself for a guilt-free shopping spree!

We, women, have our own excuses for a shopping spree. We blame our stress, PMS or a rift with spouse, for our shopping excursion. No matter why or when, shopping sprees are fun and very indulging. But, do you regret buying something later and call yourself an impulsive shopper? Does that word ‘Sale’ draws you buy something that you don’t want at all? The effects of these questions can be traumatizing. So before you ask yourself, “Why the heck did I buy that?” ask yourself these questions and keep away from losing your control or feeling feeble.

‘SALE’ …Are you buying just because it’s on sale?

Sale is something that tempts all your senses. You wonder what to buy and what not to… Bags, dress, shoes, accessories, after all who doesn’t love a good deal. The idea is to stop for 2 minutes and judge if it’s really worth a buy, and you don’t have anything similar lying in your wardrobe. Every purchase you do is either a need or a want. Differentiate and prioritize your needs from your wants. 

Do you love it or do you need it? 

How many times does it happen that, you walk into a store for one thing and walk out with ten things you don’t need? This time before you check out at the ‘Pay Here’ counter, check in with yourself. Is it something you need? Do you really love it and can’t live without it?

Can you afford it? 

Is it one of the most important questions which you want to ignore? Credit card has turned the tables around for every person now-a-days. But when it comes to paying those debts, we count every penny. Do you remember that famous shopaholic book series of Sophie Kinsella? Splurging while you shop is thrilling but all the thrill goes out of the window when the bill arrives at your home. So its utmost necessary to take note of our salary account and to know, really how much do we have to spend on ourselves. This may sound apparent, but if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it! Trust me it will lessen your stress later. And if you really love something, honestly save for it and earn it for yourself as a treat. 

Can you wait for 24 hours? 

A great way to stop yourself from getting into the trap of impulsive buying is to wait for 24 hours and think over it. Smile and ask the salesperson to put it on hold for you (most stores will do this for at least 1 day), go home and see if the item keeps revolving infront of your eye. If it does then go and purchase it the next day and if not, chuck it! Try once, and this doable test will help you plan your purchases without much effort. 

Make shopping guilt-free with these simple tricks. Save those little extras here and there and have a choice to splurge on that dress or shoes you lust for!

Behind Domestic Violence– A Fiction Depiction

In India more than 55% of women suffer from domestic violence. But is it only physical that qualifies for violence against women? I don’t buy this fact, violence of thoughts that thrashes women internally, makes her loose her confidence and her existence, is even worse. Physical wounds may heal tomorrow but the inner marks won’t.

This post is about a girl, whom I got to know virtually around 3 years back. We met on facebook and started to chat randomly. Today you might not get to see her or feel her, neither would this post make any difference to her, but being her virtual friend least I can do is let people know her.

Friends of friends setting of facebook, helped me get acquainted to her when she liked one of my blog post. Tabassum (name changed). Her profile photo was of a beautiful sunflower. Somehow we began with poking and then chatting. As I got to know her, she was a housewife in her mid 20’s. Her husband was a business man. Born and brought up in Bhopal, she moved to Kolkata after her marriage. In her alone time she used to surf internet to know some more of the world around.

I was on my annual leave those days, so with ample free time we got to chat more.

During our usual conversations, one day she asked me, “What do you usually wear? Do you wear kurtis and those colourful leggings which are in fashion these days”

I replied, “I mostly live in Kurtis and leggings”.

“I love them too, I can’t get my eyes off them when I go to the market” she said excitedly.

“So you too like to wear them?”

“I wish I could but my husband doesn’t like them. Though he doesn’t have a problem but my in-laws…..”

“So you should speak to your husband and make him understand that kurtis shouldn’t be a problem, infact half of India wears them today.”

“They are not much educated and have an orthodox mindset. My husband too is a college dropout.”

“Hmm… and by the way what have studied?”

“I have masters in computer science, but what’s the use they won’t let me work, it’s not in their traditions. L ”

Heavy in heart, I could type a word to that. Is this what India is?... How can a girl live with so many restrictions and boundations?

A few days later, it was the time when I met my husband and started falling for him, with love on my mind I made a random post on my blog about love, reading which she pinged me.

“So are you in love?”

“Yes luckily, have you ever fallen in love”

“Yes, in college days I had a boyfriend.”

“Then what happened, why didn’t you get married to him?”

“My parents didn’t approve of him, and arranged my marriage”

“What about your guy”

“I had to surrender to my parents wish and forget him”

“So do you love your husband now”

“Now as I have his child in my womb, it has to be love right?”

“What… are you expecting?”

“Yes… 7 months”

“Wow… all the best”

Since then, we chatted frequently, and she used to talk about her child and how she is developing and loving the feeling inside her. She wanted a son. Though she didn’t give me a valid reason to this, I knew that she won’t want her daughter to face similar situations in life.

When she was 8 months pregnant, she went to her maternal home to deliver the child. Since she didn’t have internet there, she promised be in touch on phone and inform me when the baby arrives.

After a few days she called me, and told me about her health and that her baby shower function went off well and her husband gifted her gold jewellery which was much of a reason of jealousy for her in-laws. I was annoyed. She was going through such beautiful phase of her life and they are being so insensitive.

Within 20 days, I got a text saying she delivered a baby boy as she wanted. I was very happy for her.

It was a peak season at my office, so I got buzy with work and had less time for social networking. Guess she too got occupied with her new baby.

Then one day she called me.

“Hi there!”

It was an unknown mobile no, so I asked, “Who’s this?”

“Tabassum here. You forgot”

She was sounding very happy but unfortunately I was buzy that moment, so promised to get back to her soon. But that soon didn’t come any sooner.

Then one day, a common friend of me and Tabassum pinged me.

“Did you get to know about Tabassum”

“No. What happened?”

“Her baby died”

“What?????!!!! HOWWW?” I was shocked to hear that.

“Her husband lifted the baby, and the baby slipped and got hit on head. Died on the way to hospital”

“How is Tabassum ?”

“Her neighbor told that she is shattered and out of her senses completely”

I remembered her dreams about her baby and of her life with the baby. The lists she had made for her baby needs, the names she had chosen, all gone now.

Few months passed, one day I texted the same friend on Watsapp to know about Tabassum.

“Hi. Any news of Tabassum?”

“What… You don’t know?”

“No… is she fine?”

“She is dead”

“Nooooooo… how do you know?”

“Same neighbor, also a friend of mine, told me. She had got cancer and her husband left her that time. She succumbed to her ailment and worries.”

I was thoughtless and speechless. How can life be so unfair to anyone? She knew no joy in her life, one joy that she got in the form of her baby was also gone. She died every moment after her baby died and to top it all her husband left her with all her troubles. She suffered the pain both physical and emotional.

What was her fault… had she asked for any thing unconventional?

Only wearing Kurtis and leggings and having her baby? Is it a lot for any girl to ask?

Her love, education, lifestyle, freedom, dreams, baby, family everything got snatched one by one.

Hope she is more than happy with her baby in heaven.

Don’t know how many Tabassum’s are dying everyday in India. Each one of us should stand for ourselves and for our rights. It’s high time now!!!!

Kai Po Che !!!

After the many success of Chetan Bhagat’s book 3 mistakes of my life here comes a movie inspired by his story. Though I liked his other books better but still I could resist myself from watching kai po che. Wondering was it the novel or Sushant who dragged me to the movie hall leaving my 5 mth old with her granny.

No wonder the movie did justice to the book, since it was directed by the same man who made Rang de Basanti, one of my favourites. The story talks about everything that is needed to make for a grasping storyline– Friendship, love, business, politics, cricket.

Unlike its earlier glossy counterpart Rock on, the story line here has simple and unconventional rooting. Based out of the simple town of Ahmedabad the movie is all about the three friends Ishaan (Sushant); Omi (Amit) and Govind (Rajkumar). All three with different attitudes towards life, pool in their resources to open up a small sports shop cum coaching centre. Ishaan, a brilliant cricketer in his school days, coaches the young wannabe cricketers, Govind with his calulative and sharp instincts handles the accounts while also teaching mathematics and Omi with his strong political background, gathers fund for the shop from his politician uncle. Things look wonderful just when some twists shake up not only their friendship and business but their lives too.

Things turn around when they lose their newly acquired shop in fierce Gujarat earthquakes. Pushed under debts from his uncle, Omi was dragged to politics while Govind falls for Ishaan’s sister whom he teaches maths and Ishaan, impressed by the cricket skills of a small muslim boy, commits himself to groom him for Ranji Trophy, a dream he had for himself sometime back. Storyline advances with scenes of communal divide, love complexes and political woos, but is able to catch your attention.

Though with no high point as such, like we have seen in Rang de Basanti or Rock on, Kai Po Che manages to showcase a normal dramatic life, where one can’t resist a smile on instances like celebration of their first earnings on top of the bus or their dive into the sea from a fort. A good impactful watch, that might leave you heavy hearted at the end.

Without any doubt, Kai Po che deserves a 4 star from me. It proves that a strong story line makes for a grand success. The three lead actors convincingly portrayed their characters, while Sushant as Ishaan stole the show with his charm, Amit proved himself as a boy with high thinking and simple living, and Omi depicted successfully the confusion of his character between friendship and politics. Director, Abhishek Kapoor, showed his great work again and blended seamlessly the sensitive issues of Gujarat riots in the movie.

After being impressed with 3 Idiots and Kai Po che, I  am waiting for more movies inspired from books like the Zoya Factor and 2 states. 

Modern Motherhood – Changes and Challenges

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”

Times have changed and so has the way of mothering a child. They were days when elder women in the family used to guide a girl towards this new phase of her life but today with changing times, there are books and internet. To be a good mother was a dilemma earlier but a pressure now.

At home:::: You are working, then how can you be a good mother…. Are you going to breastfeed and co-sleep with the baby… who will take care of the baby when you are out working… Won’t you feel guilty for not giving enough time to your baby…. etc.

At Work:::: Will you be able to manage work on time with a baby at home…. Will you be as fresh with ideas after a sleep deprived night… will you be able to attend the meetings or travel for work …. What is on priority your work or baby… and so on.

Yes with many aids in market, keeping baby happy and hygienic without investing much time is easy, but that’s not all. Modern and liberal women has many more challenges to cope up with.

Is liberal motherhood bad for feminism?

No. If you have a way, you are confident about, then certainly not. May be what is bad, is the inability of Indian work culture to have flexible schedules and work situations, where nursing moms are respected and are provided with appropriate space. May be what is bad is for her elders to think that she cannot handle work and home both. May be what is bad is sometimes the woman is made to feel sorry for even being a mother.  We need corporates and bosses to understand that if they give a little flexibility, provide them the right working environment, and focus on results rather than time in the office; then women or even men for that matter, can practice any kind of parenting that fits their style, life and family without having to choose parenting style or career.

Woman Vs Woman

9 out 10 times it’s a woman’s question that instills the guilt factor in a mother. You won’t feel more judgemental or guilty, then when another mother gives you just that weird look. Everyone is different and have their own style of raising their kids. Some want to make their kids independent from the start while others want to be with their kids at every step. One should respect each other’s feeling, and as a woman, support other women.

At work? Why feel embarrassed to ask for your needs

Sheryl Sandberg, the 43 year old Facebook COO, is a mother of two and an accomplished woman at work. She leaves office at 5:30 to be with her kids for dinner. She is fabulous at work, then why should the time she leaves office should be of concern to anyone?  As long as she is prompt in meetings, plans and finishes her work on deadlines, her motherhood style shouldn't be anyone’s business. She has opened up at work to ask for her rights being a mother and that has changed her life. Today she is an icon and her life can challenge any orthodox definition of being a good mother.

So, the problem is not your choice to be a liberal modern mother. The problem is that people judge personal decisions, and businesses don’t want to change the way they are. Ladies, it’s time to speak up like Sheryl did. Let the outside corporate world know that you can be passionate about your motherhood and still top the charts at work. Challenge the world and make the change happen!