“Of all the rights of
women, the greatest is to be a mother.”
Times have changed and so has the way of mothering a child. They
were days when elder women in the family used to guide a girl towards this new phase
of her life but today with changing times, there are books and internet. To be
a good mother was a dilemma earlier but a pressure now.
At home:::: You
are working, then how can you be a good mother…. Are you going to breastfeed and
co-sleep with the baby… who will take care of the baby when you are out working…
Won’t you feel guilty for not giving enough time to your baby…. etc.
At Work:::: Will
you be able to manage work on time with a baby at home…. Will you be as fresh
with ideas after a sleep deprived night… will you be able to attend the meetings
or travel for work …. What is on priority your work or baby… and so on.
Yes with many aids in market, keeping baby happy and hygienic
without investing much time is easy, but that’s not all. Modern and liberal
women has many more challenges to cope up with.
Is liberal motherhood
bad for feminism?
No. If you have a way, you are confident about, then
certainly not. May be what is bad, is the inability of Indian work culture to
have flexible schedules and work situations, where nursing moms are respected
and are provided with appropriate space. May be what is bad is for her elders
to think that she cannot handle work and home both. May be what is bad is sometimes
the woman is made to feel sorry for even being a mother. We need corporates and bosses to understand
that if they give a little flexibility, provide them the right working
environment, and focus on results rather than time in the office; then women or
even men for that matter, can practice any kind of parenting that fits their
style, life and family without having to choose parenting style or career.
Woman Vs Woman
9 out 10 times it’s a woman’s question that instills the
guilt factor in a mother. You won’t feel more judgemental or guilty, then when
another mother gives you just that weird look. Everyone is different and have
their own style of raising their kids. Some want to make their kids independent
from the start while others want to be with their kids at every step. One
should respect each other’s feeling, and as a woman, support other women.
At work? Why feel embarrassed
to ask for your needs
Sheryl Sandberg, the 43 year old Facebook COO, is a mother of two and an
accomplished woman at work. She leaves office at 5:30 to be with her kids for
dinner. She is fabulous at work, then why should the time she leaves office
should be of concern to anyone? As long
as she is prompt in meetings, plans and finishes her work on deadlines, her
motherhood style shouldn't be anyone’s business. She has opened up at work to ask
for her rights being a mother and that has changed her life. Today she is an
icon and her life can challenge any orthodox definition of being a good mother.
So, the problem is not your choice to be a liberal modern mother.
The problem is that people judge personal decisions, and businesses don’t want
to change the way they are. Ladies, it’s time to speak up like Sheryl did. Let
the outside corporate world know that you can be passionate about your
motherhood and still top the charts at work. Challenge the world and make the change happen!
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