Love ya Arranged... live happily ever after !!!!

From Simran running to catch the train for Raj in DDLJ ; or the wedding woos of Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and Vivaah!!!! We have all grown up seeing love stories or big fat Indian weddings courtesy our Cinema industry. And whatever is the showcase – an arranged one or Love… they both end with a tagline of ‘And they lived happily ever after’. But what really happens after, is a mystery for all!

Since ages this has always been a debatable subject. I love you or I will start loving you…Be it basis the feelings or Commitment, marriage is still a gamble with life, some pass through as winners while others struggle irrespective the kind of union.

Girls in our country grow up reading fairy tales and dreaming of a prince charming but when reality crosses, many of them are left heart broken. Their big expectations out of their partners and the rozy picture shown in movies that they relate with for themselves, turn baseless when the man chosen by their parents turns a little less romantic. He does things for her but her expectations still lay higher so she is not able enjoy those small moments. In our Indian society, kids are grown in a protected shell and are not allowed to talk to strangers but when it comes to marriage, they are suddenly asked to sleep with one. Weird but accepted by many!!!

All our lives, the only thing that most of us are seen to be chasing is that ‘ONE MOMENT’ when you say ‘yes I do’. Contrary to the societal beliefs, I feel it’s all about finding the right person, then be it an arranged or love marriage. Even if the person is chosen by our parents, we should have a good courtship period, to have enough time to build an understanding with him. And for those already dating, one should set aside priorities and see the practical side of the relationship, coz love is always in the air, but sometimes it vanishes later in that air itself, then it comes down to commitment and bonding you share. So no matter how and what set up you followed, every union comes with some rough patches, and one has to just understand that you both are from different world, grown up in different environment and help each other settle together, overlooking the negatives and polishing the positives of your partner.

Even though dating and India are still not good friends and it is something older people frown upon seeing it as a 'secret rendezvous', with changing times, today many of our parents compromise on their beliefs and accept our choices, turning it into an love cum arranged set up of a big fat Indian wedding! So Indian society too is growing up and the concept of marriage has evolved. These days the trend shows that many youngsters date, have relationships and heartbreaks but when it comes to marriage they rely on their parents for that perfect partner. This is, of course, a far cry from how most of our parents met. Now, however, it seems young Indians have the option of really getting to know the person they are hoping to marry.

Marriage is a road that you two build and then walk together on it, on the way gifting each other flowers of compatibility and fruits of compromise, cause even though marriages are said to be made in heaven, they have to be nurtured right here on the earth. So all out there planning on your marriage, don’t think about if it should or have to be arranged or love…. If you happen to find that one person who makes your life worth living, then simply go for it! 




** THIS POST IS DONE EXCLUSIVELY FOR THE INDIBLOGGER CONTEST ON THE TOPIC "Love Marriage or Arranged Marriage"

A simple breezy thought !!!

Memory is a way of holding onto the things you love, the things you are, the things you never want to lose.~ from The Wonder Years

I believe there is a garden in every childhood, an enchanted place where the air is softer,  the colours are brighter and the mornings more fragrant than ever.

My garden brings these rolling thoughts....
My dad playing and running after us in the lawn while enacting the story of little red riding hood.
Me and my cousin getting up early in the morning and cross the park fences before it opens so that we can get on the tamarind tree and get our handfuls for the day. 
Me and my brother fighting over the bicycle to ride in the park. 
Picnic to the dam and mountains around with mom and dad when I used to try and pose for each picture clicked and borrow the villagers chulha to cook some delicious baatis. 
Mom watching from the balcony and cheering us up, when we used to show off our cricket skills with our neighbor friends. 
Going to farms at grandmom’s place to get bag fulls of mangoes and green grams, later hiding our share from everyone else. 
Everyone sitting with bucket full of mangoes competing to see who eats the most. 
Sketching the view from the balcony during my summer vacations. 
Climbing on dad’s shoulders to peak in the ventilator space to see if those pigeon eggs hatched in the nest on our ventilator space. 
That friendly goat who used to knock our doors every morning to get some chapatis or veggies. Those surprise rainy day leaves when our cycle speeds used to increase while coming back home, to play football  in the ground. 
Those Sunday’s when mom washes our clothes and we were buzy making bubbles using soap water………..

I wholeheartedly believe that no matter what you are going through now or whatever is happening in your life today, there is always something that you can be thankful for... no matter how simple it is. For me it’s my childhood spent with brother, mom dad and cousins….What’s your pick??

New emotions ..and a new life!!

Apart from waiting to see a tiny mix of you and your love….Frequent mood-swings… unexpected cravings for food you never liked… weird sickness almost every other moment... helplessness for smallest things like a dropped book… undisturbed sleep during nights… packing up all your fav dresses and heels for almost more than an year… shopping for those ill fitted clothes and waiting for the time when you can shop for the ones you loved on the racks.. yearning to go on a backpack vacation…. These are all the thoughts associated with a mom to be.  

Time you are expecting, initially can leave you confused about the new phase… then slowly comes the feeling of something floating in your belly, then this float changes to kick boxing and dancing… reminding you always that she is inside you. You will feel like you have never been this sick in your whole life, have never had so many medicines or met a doctor so frequently.  Sometime it feels, is it really your body, is it really your belly which used to carry jean of 26” waist size?? seeing your old pictures, you feel you have really grownup (or may be blown up lol). All this is complimented with weird stares from men and women both, just that this time their sight is fixed on your bump not on your ***. Manytimes you feel really pregnant but not for others and they treat you like a normal being, when you know you are struggling, especially at work. Suddenly many people will start behaving differently and you would wonder how my baby can affect their attitude, didn’t they once went through the same phase?

Suddenly all the images of pregnant women that one sees on TV or in movies wash out and you remember the words of your parents, that this is one of the most difficult yet fascinating phases of a girl’s life. These difficult months can turn into a blessing when you see your husband making dinner for you and trying his best to lessen your pains. It actually bonds you both better. Enjoy the time, click your pics of this time, coz they will turn into memories later. This is the best time to be pampered and when you can indulge in every delicacy guilt-free. So enjoy the moment, it’s a part of our life making us feel magical while developing a life within us. I am enjoying.. did you???

{{Sad to hear that now infertility is increasingly becoming common amongst the new couples due to uncertain lifestyles and improper eating and sleeping habits. Many are opting for assisted conception live IVF. Wish all the women, expecting a baby or trying for one in future, all the very best.}}

Flatter me Hun !!

We all women love an ego massage every once in a while, especially when it comes from the right person, at the right time and place. Many a times an ego massage can surpass a Swedish or  aroma or chocolate or ayurvedic massage. And when it comes from your man, you feel, you just touched cloud no. 10.  

For me, I know my husband is one of those guys who talks true to what he feels. If he doesn’t like the dinner, he will say it no matter how much energy I put in preparing it. So whenever it comes, I thoroughly enjoy my ego being aired by my man. I love it when my husband acknowledges or praises my writing or the food or any advice, no matter if it is in his simplest words or in my ears..

What’s your story?

Won’t you feel proud, when your husband says you work really hard and manage everything quite well. Or when he lets his parents know that you take good care of their son and that he’s very well fed. Or when he doesn’t bother about your extra natal kilos and still excitingly clicks you saying you are still beautiful being plump. Will these simple compliments boost your confidence and give you a trippy kick ?

Is India really shining !!!!

The traffic, the overcrowded metros and buses, the long commuting hours, pot-holed roads, ever increasing pollution, forever lasting construction of city infrastructure, dealing with corruption while coping with work pressure and moreover the 'Indian' work culture that requires you to spend more than 10 hours in office, then going home to demanding in-laws and dealing with even more demanding new-gen kids . Who said we are living the good life in this tomorrow’s economic super power?

According to a survey, Indians were asked to evaluate the quality of their lives as "thriving", "struggling" or "suffering" and 31% chose suffering compared to the global figure of only 13%. This proves our life quality really needs an upgrade. Are our well-paying job and the existence of corruption at every level, the deciding factors when perceiving our life quality.

How do you feel, when you have to change two trains and then take bus or auto to get to work everyday, that takes approx. 4 hours of your precious time daily, which could have been spent with you kids and family? Yes you may earn well at the end of it, but what is the point of it, if you cannot enjoy a stress free evening with your loved ones?

I wouldn't call this a great life, where you have to constantly struggle to outrun others. Today many of us don’t even remember the last time we took a vacation. No matter where you go from roads to platforms to hospitals or even movie theatres, people are always in rush. Doctors don’t spare more than 5 minutes for you, no matter what your ailment is…. in the daily queues everyone will be equally in hurry…. On top of everything, there's a scam in everything.

It's nice to hear and think of India as a rapidly growing as economic power and will soon out do many other developing countries. But does this thought matches when one walks down any street… the experience is enough to bring you back to reality. The gap between the rich and the poor is so huge and so visible. From a person in high end chauffeur driven cars to the one on bicycle with his wife on the carrier and child on the rod infront… the contrast is massive. And while on one hand, the infamous recession sword hangs over our head, on the other hand, there is a price hike in everything, from veggies to petrol to clothes and land. There is almost nothing that you can call a guilt free purchase.

Not going materialistic, if we just see around us and the environment we live in. Many of us notice a concrete jungle with no trees or fresh air to breath, then if we venture to go on a weekend break to a nearby cleaner and greener destination, we bump into a crowd of people trying to do the same. “Wish I was not living in a developing country”, sometimes this thought surely does come in our bugged mind.

Are we left with any option, for a certain lifestyle or to fulfill our or our kids dreams, we have to work through all these challenges smilingly and hope for the best, believing in what we hear.. that India is developing ! This is just to calm and soothe ourselves every evening after a struggling day, but then again a new day begins with new dares ….

So Is India really shining, What’s your take on this ???