My this new post is dedicated to all you working women. It urges you to think if your job is the most important part of your self-identity and if it has gradually taken over who you are…. OMG! Now, read on and keep thinking!
“What do you want to be or dream to be when you grow up?” This question must be sounding familiar, yes most of us have faced it as kids. When we were tiny, our silly yet creative answers caught everyone’s attention no matter how unpractical they were….. I want to be a farmer growing chocolates or have an icecream shop. Then with these sweet thoughts and in no time, we realize we have grown up, now its time to study hard, match expectations, and finally land in a real job. Something that justifies my education and defines who I am. All the stories of having chocolate farm and Icecream shop goes out of the window.
I remember, by the end of my first working month, more than career ambitions, I had plans of spending my first salary. Since my school days, when my dad once refused a school trip, I had a dreams of travelling the world as an independent grown up girl. That is what I did from my first salary, a backpacking trip with a friend cum roommate. We were both fresh in the corporate world and had a heady mix of independence, success and energy that the first job always brings. On our way we met two girls from UK who were recently fired from their jobs and had decided to use this break to follow their passion of travelling the world. We were not only surprised and admiring the two for their positiveness, but were also shocked at their spirit, since, being in their shoes we would have been devastated, after all its our career that defines us, what would we be without it? the mere thought was scary!
Few years of working went by in a flash and soon economy shook the world. I being in the corporate team was better secured than those in operations who had targets and figures to meet. One of my best of friends was worried about her job and the layoffs happening in her team. I tried to be motivating with the same philosophy of looking at the brighter side, so if in case it happens, she can use the break to do things she had always loved doing like writing, travelling, cooking, learning a new language etc.
Her desperation was against all my ideas, she was almost in tears and simply said “I am nobody without my job! This writing, travelling and cooking stuff is fine in pass time, but my job is who I am!
These words of her echo in my ears now. We have all grown up even more and lot of my friends are taking breaks from jobs coz of marriages and babies. I too am married now and being a women I have also dreamt of a perfect job, a perfect house, and I- a perfect in all the roles of being a wife, mom, DIL etc. I wanted time to follow my heart for the things I had always wanted to do…. Do some freelancing, write some more, read some more, follow my passion, cook delicious dishes for my husband n baby… etc etc.
When I shared my thought with a friend, she asked “ but what are you actually going to do?” …. Do people really can’t see the writer, freelancer, a book lover or a home chef I wanted to be? Does that not qualifies for a full time job? But who am I to point on these thoughts. I too, somewhere in my heart, have a fear of loosing the charisma I have from these plans. The thought, that will the grass be as greener the other side as I think? It’s a cache situation, may be it’s the time which will answer it!
Guess , the women of today is in a different league all together. Her career is the most important part of her self identity, she labels others based in what they do for their living. Sometimes during a conversation I too wait for the question “So what do you do” to come up and if it doesn’t I feel, I did not present myself well. Infact, I myself used to label others by what they do for their living. Today, after working for so many years, somehow I cannot relate to stay-at-home wives/moms etc. I don’t know how women motivate themselves to sit at home whole day and only have weekends to go out when their partners would have time for them. Marriage is a blessing for both man and woman… then why does it limits only women from following her dreams.
You work or not, but the talent God has gifted you should not go waste. I want to explore the other side of the story, realize my potential apart from my job and understand myself better. I want to let go the old definition of myself that is linked to my job, to unbox myself and explore the other facets of myself. I want to be a convert, to have a new birthday for my dreams and my talent.
Tomorrow if someone asks me ‘What do you do?’ my answer should be “ I do tons of things! I am a wife, I write, I love to read, cook, travel and laugh with my husband while watching a movie. I love my job and I love doing it. It is the wind beneath my wings” ... ofcourse complimented with my signature smile ***!
