Some thoughts of my 30's self!

In 13 Going On 30, Jenna Rink (Jennifer Garner) goes to bed an embarrassed teen and wakes up the next morning a confident and glamorous 30-year-old. I, on the other hand, woke up on my 30th birthday feeling every bit as awkward turning  as I did back then (wait, so chick flicks aren’t the gospel truth?). The changes were subtle and they crept up on me rather sneakily. My body felt fuller, the texture of my skin and the colour of my hair seemed different somehow (in a less-than-happy way) and I found myself looking at my wardrobe and not completely recognising myself in its contents.

What had happened here? Wasn’t I supposed to have a signature style by now? One that anyone who knew me would identify as solely mine: the way I wear my hair, a favourite fragrance or even just the way I like my coffee? And where had I been when all those greys decided to show up? It was like puberty all over again. And I wasn’t any better at it the second time around. I hit the panic button, of course. Overnight, I went from washing my face once a day and pretending my skin came with inbuilt sunscreen to contemplating experiments with nightingale droppings (it’s a geisha secret) for smooth skin.

It didn’t help that there were others around me turning 30 with complete ease. Some were getting fitter, others had gone from being style don’ts to dos and my closest friend tells me she now feels more confident in her skin, which reflects positively on the way she looks as well. I had no idea what she was talking about.

So, who did I want to be? Ideally, someone like Sridevi who seems pretty fit in her 40s and unbelievably flawless. But in a smaller, more relatable, everyday sense, I wanted to learn to grow older like a French woman. Ageing confidently and nonchalantly, acing mussed-up hair and smudged eyeliner, and turning even cargo pants sexy. I went through four books (my favourites were Elegance by Kathleen Tessaro, and Mireille Guiliano’s fitness bible French Women Don’t Get Fat) and countless lists of ‘French Girl Beauty Rules’, which all seemed to agree that being unabashedly yourself was imperative; in France, the concept of peer pressure is an urban legend. Okay, that wasn’t relatable at all.

Next, I turned to Nora Ephron’s I Feel Bad About My Neck, which turned out to be the perfect antidote to my bewilderment. In her warm, familiar tone, and with empathy, she offers light-hearted perspective to sagging necks, broken hearts, raising kids and everything in between — “Sometimes I think that not having to worry about your hair any more is the secret upside of death”  — but she sugarcoats nothing. The cover of the book is bare, except for a beauty product jar, which I like to think contains hope and confidence, the two things,  Ephron concludes, that any woman needs in spades if she wants to grow older gracefully. It was time to face the fact, namely the changes were just a part of growing older and my mind needed to catch up ASAP.

I took my time. The old, nervy me fell away eventually in chips and bits. Slowly, I stopped referring to the ’90s as “just a few years ago” or reacting vehemently when the kids in my apartment building called me the A-word. Up until this point, I never did more than the bare minimum for my skin. But now I started making small alterations to my routine. For starters, I dropped the bird goo idea and took my mum’s advice instead. I now start and end my days with some TLC for my skin. I’ve settled into a skincare routine that works for me. I don’t view it as an indulgence or a task; it’s just an essential part of my day and one that I enjoy. I learnt to embrace the inevitable changes and started paying a lot more attention to what I put inside my body. I begin my mornings with the juice of two lemons and try to limit my refined sugar intake. Physically, it’s more about being strong and fit than just a thinner, possibly weaker, version of myself. I’ve even found an exercise routine I love, Zumba. It helped me shed my negative body image and more than anything, I love that exercise can be this much fun. All that cool, torchbearing French girl wisdom was finally seeping in.   

Turns out there is no novel, new answer to getting old well; the truth is in the cliché: If you feel good about yourself, you’ll look good too, and not the other way around. Respecting your sense of self, even if that sense of self isn’t able to make up her mind about whether she likes her perfume with top notes of gardenia or tuberose, is much too underrated. Maybe giving new things a shot and not being in a habit-driven rut is what defines me. (Also, these days I like my coffee with just a dash of butter, so there’s that to consider.) The fact is that ten years from now we’re going to be looking back at this very moment through a soft focus lens and feeling nostalgic about the time our waistlines weren’t trying to keep up with our chronological ages.

But for now we need to stop worrying and take Ms Ephron’s advice — it’s time to slip into our bikinis and not take them off till we’re 34, at least. 

Masterminds and Minions !!

It was our first day in our respective new sessions in School, and our Mommy was buzy with her list of instructions for the new year. We both were damn too excited to hear all of that and can't wait to reach the school, meet our classmates, new class teacher and show off our new stationery assets, all this while still being jealous about each other's new possessions. That's sibling love !! The 3 year age gap was not enough to stop us from not being each other's friend as well as an enemy. His summer holidays were full of cycling, football and breaking neighbour's windows with cricket ball while I was buzy painting, reading Archies, Tinkle, Billu and Pinky. 

We usually only used to sit peacefully together during meal times - over steaming chhole bhaturas, chicken curry, idlis, dosa and more - Once over hearing my mother marvel about how he had just scarfed down his 8th idli, I challenged him over a idle eat-off. This antagonism was just a way of bonding with him. He agreed, like any other over excited younger sibling, mostly he could watch me suffer. (For the record I ate 18 and he gave up at 10, but I was dieing after that without showing off :D)

I believe that brothers are God's chosen partners-in-crime for you. A sibling is the one person in the world who will confirm for you that, yes your family is a little nuts and yes, that's probably why you both are too. No one else can you that solace because noone else has that wonderful, unique, ridiculous set of experiences that is your family.

Having a brother meant that there was someone to share the blame with did we did something stupid. My mother held us equally responsible for every horrible thing that happened. I lost my penbox at school?

"You all are so careless."

He brings home a puppy to keep as pet?

"You all are so stupid."

I forgot my aunt's birthday?

"You all are so thoughtless."

Somehow I know that no matter how stupid, thoughtless and careless I am, he's right next to me - taking equal responsibility for it all infront of mom/dad. Younger  siblings I do believe are the victims. Older siblings are indeed the criminal masterminds that you are made out to be. 

Because of one simple reason - you have more minions at your disposal. Would Crime Master Gogo be as hilariously frightening if there were no mothers putting their children to sleep at night with, "So jao, nahin to Gogo aa Jayega."?

Whether it's convincing them that climbing into the water tank was a good way to take a quick bath 

or making them conduct heists from the kitchen for more wafers, nuts or biscuits ("but don't let Mum see, okay?" - the mastermind has it covered, as the younger ones innocently follow. Many younger siblings are told they are adopted because they were found in gutter, left on the doorstep and my cousin's favourite - you were sent by courier. 

Every sibling relationship falls somewhere in the spectrum between a Cadbury's chocolate Raksha Bandhan advertisement and a violent scene from Bollywood movie. If we are not standing up for each other, then we're buzy having violent fights that end in nail scratch marks (his) and clumps of ripped-off hair (mine). But siblings are the only ones who make you understand what it feels like to have your heart in the body of another person - like having a best friend that you are born with. I could spend the rest of my life fighting with him, but if you mess with him, you'll have to mess with me first.

(Written for the love of my younger brother, who has grown up somebit now )

Shifitng interests of older at-home women

A ‘happy married life forever after’ is always viewed as the ultimate goal for a woman by her parents. They want to see their girl settled down and prospering. However, in all the haste of grabbing opportunities and making every effort not to miss them, girls are married off at an early age of 19-21, the very moment the mother lays her eyes on a suitor.

In this whole process, education tends to take a backseat. Some twenty years back this was the case, when families looked for girls who could take care of the house. Working women were thought of as heretical, a threat to the patriarchal ways and vulnerable to the running-trends.

Hence, housewives were the most sought-after brides then. They fit the bill – served well in a joint family, the kitchen loved them, mixed properly with the relatives, and from time to time they inculcated the ancestral sanskars in children. It was a happy existence, indeed, for the woman as well. But the ‘forever after’ was not bound to last for long. The emergence of a new-age woman broadened perspectives and possibilities for every woman.

Twenty-five years after the marriage, when their children are well-settled in their career field, which had once been her earnest dream; the woman is forced to question her abilities and her identity. When the picture of an urban-woman is thrown to her face she can’t help but notice what she has been missing.

Despite the urge to change, this new-found dream seems far-fetched to her. The woman is about to enter the evening of her life; which company would want to take a forty-something, inexperienced and unskilled lady?

It is a dilemma faced by thousands of women beneath the glorious veil of metropolitan cities. These women are free- free from their domestic obligations. At first, they succeeded in doing what was expected of them from their parents. Later they devoted themselves to the marital vows. A life dedicated to others. But now, freedom is theirs.

It is all right if they don’t know well a foreign language such as English. None of them must get disheartened. They might have been the best in their class in tougher and other subjects such as mathematics or history. Their worth can not merely be measured in terms of their academic status but the age of experience. 

Older non-working women can surely become a part of the various Non-Governmental Organizations. These, normally, have no age-limits. It is not that difficult to get in touch with a NGO nearest to the residence. For starters, how about a local-welfare society? Or may be a home meal service for bachelors 'n working couples in your area?. The only thing required is determination and faith in oneself. It’s never too late.

Here again…

I have not written for quite a long time, no particular reason I just didn’t feel like, maybe a writer’s block. Last few months have been a transitioning phase for me, from being a mother to an infant, now I am a mother of a toddler who keeps running all over and wants everything that catches her interest (especially the things I am using), and from being a full-time corporate woman, now I am a work-from-home mom with a jumbled up life.

Gladly, I have been advancing in my new chosen career path (freelance content management) and also growing to understand my mini boss much better. Now I am back, with many silly experiences of a mom and struggling real time experiences of a freelancing world. Stay tuned !

My Happy Food Trail of South India!

Travelling has always been fun, from the days when I was tiny and used to travel to my nani’s place in summer vacations with my family, till today when I take de-stress holidays with my husband. But no matter which exotic destination I choose to travel now, it would not match the childhood excitement we used to have while travelling in a second class train compartment, digging in every passing local snack, making new friends, be over joyous to meet cousins, shop in local markets, gorge on the favourite roasted chicken and play and sleep on the terrace together. Those days have carved a deep memory line in my mind.

Today, given a chance I would like to travel with all those people including my late mom and go to some place where time stops at that moment and relive those sweet memories all over again.

But everyone says ‘Live in present’, and I too abide by it. So, If I have to plan a trip in future, being a great food lover and food explorer, I would like to book me and my husband on a 15 day coastal food tour of India and let him wonder exactly what our destination is. A combination of food, travel and exploration is what can create happy travellers like us. Here goes my trail story………

My South India Food Trail ….

Start off from our all-time favourite destination GOA, and make it a point to try a new place for every meal, no repeat is the only rule. Sample the Indo-European romance delicacies from local Goan Masala fish fry and Vindaloo, to Xacuti and Balchao. Witness the Russians indulging in raw oysters plates after plates and wonder if we should also try it. Truly there is no other place like Goa. One place, endless experiences!

Saying bye to the ever welcoming Goa we would head to our next stop, that is MANGALORE, which is known for its Konkani food and pickles. What more motivation would we foodies need. Following our rule, we take the highway, inquire with locals about popular eating joints amongst them and start ordering the best on the menu. Not to miss are the city’s coconut curries, neer dosas and variety of fish, prawn and shrimp pickles. A great souvenir for friends back in Delhi.

After stuffing ourselves enough at Mangalore, we move on to KOCHI, the most famous coastal town of Kerala. Pick up some fresh fishes, crabs and prawns from the local stinky fish market, make a special request to the hotel chef to make something aunthentic Keralian for us and what a treat it would be to have our handpicked sea food. Other popular eateries of the town are awaiting us too, so move on to the next, without missing the local street food at the beaches.

KOVALAM calling! Moving on to another darling of Kerala, we head out straight to the neat gorgeous beaches. Lay back sip some amazing fresh mocktails, bite on some amazing fried fishes and go slow as the destination calls for a laid back attitude. Relax, before the last luxurious meal in the city and say bye to the God’s own Country ‘Kerala’and Hello to Tamil Nadu!

Though there are many awesome coastal destinations Tamil Nadu also boasts off, PONDICHERRY retains its position of being the beloved one. Unlike any other place in India, Pondicherry is more of a French colony, so its cuisine also speaks similar language. Mix is not only shown in it’s traditions and culture but also in the food. Special Pondicherry masala Mackarel fry is not to be missed at all, along with the authentic French and Vietnamese cuisine offered by many restaurants. There is still a lot to explore here. Can we eat while trying the Yoga positions at the Ashram too?

The whole idea of this food trail is like a cool breeze, that goes as quickly as it comes. Our final destination – CHENNAI! Eat, Shop, Roam is our agenda. Take it easy and just soak in the whole aroma South India has given us. Take back the exclusive flavours, this part of the country has treated us with. We aimed for eating fresh and authentic only and followed it religiously. Fly high back to our everyday dal roti sabzi, with unlimited memories, delectable taste on tongue, a few Malayalam and Tamil words on the tongue and unlimited photographs capturing our journey.

Many of us travel, but forget to travel with open minds to be ready to live like the locals do and eat what the locals do. If you search for butter chicken in Kerala and Goa, the whole point of travelling is lost. Go out explore without any regrets coz Journey is the real Destination!

Yatra will help you plan your dream holiday or turn your holiday ideas into reality. Indulge in Travel. Travel On!

[This post has been done for the Indiblogger & Yatra contest "Creating Happy Travellers". ]

Have fun before you say 'I DO'!

Being single is fun, but being married is not bad either. Things change and so does a girl’s life, and thats the reason why all thier friends and elder siblings keep reminding them, ‘Enjoy... Have fun, do whatever you like before the ring is on your finger.’ Though now a days, marriages have opened up too but still there are a few things best enjoyed before you say ‘I do!’.  Here are some great fun ideas, I have jotted down for those who are single but can have wedding bells ringing anytime. Read on and create memories!

1. Grab some adventure with your gal pals!

You are free right now, tomorrow there will be barricade put on this freedom path, so this is the your time. Grab your gang of girls and go out on a crazy, fun and adventurous spree to anywhere you like (Remember DDLJ !!!). From a road trip to Ladakh or a gamble night in Goa or just a wild night out around the town.  Just have a memorable one!

2. Given a chance, Live alone or with friends!

With the wedding vows you enter into the world of Rs...Responsibilities and Relatives. One thing you would certainly crave for, once you are married, is your space, your Me Time! So make the most of this time and if possible, take out a few months from your single life and go live alone or share a flat with a friend. Go crazy, play loud music, dance in your shorts, mess up the place, order in and call your girls over for shorts parties. You may not get this chance again in your life.

3. A night you can’t actually recall!

Yes, just like we see in movies (Ek main aur ek tu, Rockstar or Hangover) or hear people saying..‘That night was fun, but I don’t remember what happened after... next morning I was in my bed!’ The night that will remain hazy throughout your life but still you can’t forget it. Believe me ... it’s worth it! Dance away, get drunk, get inked or a pierce.. just don’t bother and do whatever you feel is crazy!

4. Flirt as much as you want!

Marriage is a lifelong commitment with one person and no wonder, it works only if we respect this commitment and are monogamous. So don’t bind your heart for later, flirt healthy, meaningless and till you heart feels content. Get all of it out of your system and get ready for the new life!

5. Do some aflatoon with your fiance

Once you are engaged, there is nothing like the freedom to talk or meet a man without fingers pointing at you. So enjoy this freedom, go out together and paint the town in your colours. Whether it’s a long drive or chat, eat and gulp at your favourite lounge or dance at the trendiest club, relish this carefree moment of both of yours life before the matrimonial commotion starts.

Don’t let your thoughts block your way, go with the moment and you won’t regret any fun of this singleton life. Have a great life!

Why not make saving easy and fun too ??

‘Motherhood is a divine feeling!’ 

True, but it comes with its own challenges and compromises we women have to do for our little ones and their well being. For instance, a tough tiring pregnancy, numerous medicines and injections, days in the hospital with nurses ready to pinch you in every nerve they could find, sleep less nights with a baby who herself is wondering where she is and crying her heart out, aches in every possible bone in the body, zombie like feeling with heavy heads and unwaxed unthread face and body, energy draining out with even a small task, the unhappy feeling of having lost your enviable figure ..... 

Then in few months you settle yourself and start enjoying the new phase of life when your baby smiles at you, wants to be in your arms even if there are hundred other people craving to carry her... this feeling makes you forget all the pains. What next.. with less or no support system backing you, you are left with no choice but to leave your hard earned job to be with your lil one and help her grow in a better way in those initial months of her life. Like me, after working for 8 years, slogging myself eachday to reach to a level I was a month back and expecting an appraisal and a hefty bonus in a months time, what I chose was to be a stay at home mom and work freelance. With mixed feeling, I tried to focus on what’s coming up in life only to realise that I am gonna miss being independent so much. With little saving in my kitty, I wanted to do some more... since these are times we needed to save the Uncle Scrooge way. So here I am sharing a few tips that I am planning to follow and sound quite effective and doable to me:::::::::::

1. Beat credit with cash

This is the time I need to maximise my saving and not use my card as I had been doing while on my job. I have made a plan to make most of our purchases on cash and beat the credit card. We (I and my husband) will average out an amount we usually spend on groceries and provision and also eating out and keep it aside in the beginning of every month. We will estimate it a little generously so we don’t run short of money for groceries. Then what ever amount of cash we would be left with at the end will go in my piggy bank.

2. Plan all expenses

We are looking to plan as many of our expenses as we could. From an emergency fund to a needful appliance or a furniture. Whatever it is!!! Like for now we are looking to buy an automatic washing machine since house maids are charging a lot these days and we would like to save on that by doing it ourselves with the help of a machine. We are keeping aside all the extra earnings (like reimbursements) for a few months and putting in our fund for washing machine, even though we have enough credit to buy it from. But this way we would be more at ease.

3. Want vs. need

Since a few months every time we wanted to buy something we would ask ourselves – Do we need it or do we want it? This is a quick and effective test for a “buy or not” decision. We are running a used car, even though it takes up a lot of maintenance, because till now we have not got the answer that ’we need a new one’. So until that day we are salting away a little bit of cash at every opportunity so when the time comes, we won’t be taxing our wallets and will be able to put down a hefty down payment for it.

4. List it out

Making a list always helps, especially when we go provision shoppingI I have made a rule – anything that is not on the list, won’t be bought even if we have run out of it and need to buy it. That item goes on the next week’s shopping list. Though, everytime it’s me who victimises and looks to break this rule, so I hand over this responsibility to my husband and send him off shopping. He has the kind of discipline that one needs to stick to the list. This rule works quite well with items that aren’t critical like spices, sauces, and even dals but not so well with necessities like milk and bread but then those are the first to go on the list and you hardly get to forget it.

5. Don’t forget yourself

Do save, but don’t let it become an obsession. It should not make you deny yourself little pleasures like a new dress or a meal out or books. Keep it a point to shop only during the sale season which comes twice an year in August and then in February. Buy 3-6 months advance clothes for your lil one and don’t go over board with it and they wear out of it very soon. To please ourselves, I and my husband take out a small amount as ‘allowance’ for ourselves every month. That money is ours and for us to decide how we would like to spend it without feeling guilty – be it on a new dress or save it for something big that we would not like to buy from our household expense. 

6. Pinching pennies (1s, 2s, 5s and even 10s coins) can be fun

I have found a fun way to save. When I go out shopping for groceries or provision or even indulge in the street side snack or juice, whatever change I get back from it, I put it all in my piggy bank. (Yes, I do have one). 4-6 months down the line, I look forward to save around Rs 2-3k and use that amount to buy something for the house that normally wouldn’t pass the “want vs. need” test like a toaster, fancy bedsheets, rug etc. It sounds fun. Try it!

Fun-tastic – Beat the heat weekend party!!!

These days, a finger food appetizers meal isn't enough to please guests in the parties- to really impress one has to tickle their comforts as well as their taste buds.

I made it a point to pamper all of their senses and make it a memorable summer party for all. To start with I decided to have a fun terrace party. My husband instantly pointed... But its Delhi summer honey.. !!! I had my own plans and followed them confidently....

Blowed up our summer special inflatable large swimming pool and got it ready on the terrace with cool water, aromas, petals and tea light candles around. Decorated my terrace wall with lights and charming paper lanterns. To keep it all even more cool I rented a few water fans and placed all around my DIY venue.

For seating I chose to go low floor in coloured fabrics and cushions. Had placed my wooden dining table in the corner to serve as a buffet table and decorated it with florals  and beautiful cultlery. For entertainment, we got the best of soothing music 1(spell ghazals) and simple ice breaking games. Was I  set??.... not really. My order in restaurant goofed up and refused last moment. With no other eatery ready to take such a big order and perfectionist me didn’t want to settle for anything lower than what my guests would love dining on.

5 hours left in my hand, my last resort was to land in a grocery store and pick the best easy to cook items to help myself. My heart echoed try Kitchen of India (since they took a generous space on the shelf and looked absolutely tempting). I picked up a Chicken biryani mix, a veg biryani mix, a mutton kolhapuri mix and few ready to eat packs of paneer durbari and said WOW to myself, I was quite impressed with my assortment which was very much Indian (as loved by the guests) and yet easy to cook and eat. To compliment it all I got packs of pita bread that can be toasted lightly on the spot on a electric barbeque and few light appetizers.

Got the best of juices and fresh fruits for mocktails to quench everybody’s thirst.  With generous amount of help from my husband, I was done with our home dinner menu in less than the expected time and it all tasted divine. With all the preparations completed, I felt proud of myself, the venue, food, decor everything looked spectacular. Now we waited for the guests to arrive... and here they were at dot 7:30 PM and sun set added to the whole lighting effect and earned me many compliments for my decor.

Dressed in casual summer attires, we had super fun in the pool, under the sky, with a chilled glass of mocktail in each hand and soothing ghazals playing in the background. With food ready to serve, we were happy hosts and helped our guests grab the most of the menu no matter their stomachs allow or not. They also didn’t mind as the food was incredible... thanks to Kitchens of India gourmet range!

Earned ourselves 10 on 10 from every friend who joined us that evening... they left with happy memories and cool smiles. Our effort paid off!

What an evening it was!!!... I said, glancing through that day’s photographs on my laptop.

[Post done for Indiblogger & Kitchens of India Gourmet Range ]

Turning fantasy into reality.... We Chit Chat!!

“Whoever you meet on the path called life helps you explore yourself a little better.”

These words are of one of my friend who loves to go philosophical. But this time she was right, even though for me there are many more people whom I have not met or talked to but have helped me see my life in a different way.

Latest technology trends have opened many grounds for us, from  blogs and books to social media and television, even if it is pure entertainment that we indulge in, it still makes us realise the importance of having a laugh or switching off our minds for a while. Usually I hate talking on phone, (wonder how people stick to it for hours), and prefer chatting, some how it gives me more freedom of thoughts. Coming back to the list of people I would like to chat with, on the newly launched WeChat group, actually there are many but I am hereby giving the top 10 of my list.......

My Mom

Soon after I entered my teenage, God took her away from me. The days when other girls dream about their prince charming, I have grown up seeing her in my dreams. But I am happy and feel lucky to have met her atleast that way. A chance to chat with her no matter how would be divine for me. Even if I get short of words then, still the feeling of her being there to listen to me would be eternal.

Sophie Kinsella

Any girl in her 20’s who likes to read would love reading her books, she is one of the reigning stars in the chick lit genre. Though Shopaholic series are her most popular ones, but my favourites are-The Domestic Goddess, Remember Me? and Can you keep the secret? I still re-read them every few months. I identify with the lead characters and have fun with them. Chatting with Sophie would mean talking to all of my, those, fav characters in a go.

Aamir Khan

Like many other Indians, I liked Amir Khan and his acting skills. Loved many of his movies like Andaz Apna Apna and 3 Idiots, though disliked many as well, one of them being Gajini. But it was only when he did Satyamev Jayate, I started admiring him and his work. He worked towards betterment of this nation like a true citizen (afterall how many of the celebrities do we see doing such work, no matter how much he earned through it, is small in comparision to the awareness the show generated), then he took his mom for the sacred ‘Hajj’ fulfilling his duty of being a true son, he turned down ad endorsement offers worth a few crores saying it lacked social relevance. WoW! A personality to salute in todays day and age, when we see people going gaga over money and fame. Surely it would be an honour to talk to him once in my lifetime even if it means a small ‘Hello’.

Sexy- The little girl in the movie Cheeni  Kum

Do you remember her? Yes she is that tiny 9 year old girl, who was dying of leukaemia in the cool humourous movie Cheeni Kum also featuring strong actors like Amitabh Bachchan and Tabu. She was the cherry on the cake in this movie. Confidante Swini Khare gave life to the whole storyline with her small role. With a few days life left to live, she had it clear how to have fun in those days and live life to the fullest. Inspiring and adorable to watch. Would like to chat with this life inspiring small girl ‘Sexy’ to have some fun together and may be talk about those adult movies she was craving to watch... lol.

Oprah Winfrey

Guess, everyone who knows her, would like to meet her once in their life.  An inspirational lady of substance. You would be amazed to know she was fired from her first job because she was called ‘unfit for TV’, and today she is topping the list of 10 most inspiring personalities. There is so much to talk to her about from her success story to her life of being Oprah.

Chetan Bhagat

Chetan Bhagat is an Indian literary icon, yes I too love all his books. But more than his books I loved his sense of acceptance towards the changing Indian society. He left his high profile banking job in Hong kong because his wife had got a better paying job in India, only to become a house husband or a stay-at-home dad for his baby. He utilized that spare time to write his books,  which turned him into a bestselling author of the nation. His started a revolution, and till now I don’t know of any other male who has taken such a step. Moreover, his articles and blogs oozes not only fantastic style of writing but also opinions that matter to every women out there. A today’s man who understands that he shares this society with females of similar calibre and respects feminism. Being a feminist writer myself, I have enough to chat about with him.

Mark Zukerberg

We all know him! His name is a book that tells the story of social media. My introduction to social media was through his baby that’s ‘FACEBOOK’. I am not a media junkie but I adore his intelligence which produced this idea. Afterall I found my husband among many other friends through it. Let’s Chat Mr. Zukerberg, now we have WeChat!

Walt Disney

Every girl on this planet, grows up reading fairytales, dreams of entering a princess castle in real and meet her favourite damsel turned princess characters. It was he who turned this dream into reality for us with his Disney parks. His name is synonymous to the cartoon series we have seen in our childhood, which still adds smile on our faces. Yay!! I can talk fairies with him.

Andrea Sachs

You guessed it right! She is the same size 12, casual chic who doesn’t hesitate before eating that burger with extra cheese and still makes it to one of the biggest fashion magazine as assistant to the editor Miranda Priestley, a job for which millions of girls would die for! What next? She dumps this high profile job but still get positive feedbacks from her boss and makes it to her dream job. She was the one who motivated me to take up Mass communication and my career got a direction. What a luck, if I get to chat with her!

Vidya Balan

I never realised she was one who appeared in that slimy role in the popular TV series ‘Hum Paanch’.  Look at her today, she has created a niche for herself not only in Bollywood and also amongst the Indian women. She looks glam and carries the national attire Sari with grace and elegance. Atleast I can get tips on wearing sari perfectly (my brother’s wedding is coming up), apart from talking about her journey toward being the best in bollywood. What a boon for a movie buff like me!

Tanya Chaitanya

Wondering who she is? “All the women, You are FEMINA!”  She is the editor of my most read magazine ‘Femina’.  Every time when I get my hands on an issue of Femina, first thing I read is the editor’s note, and each time I utter the word ‘Awesome’! I would like to know how she gathers her stories, and frames it to such engaging content that every time I pass a bookstore I can’t resist picking the new issue of this magazine.

That’s my list of top 10 people whom I would like to chat with on WeChat Group. Hope it turns into reality and does not remain a fantasy!

[Created for Indiblogger & WeChat contest - http://www.indiblogger.in/topic.php?topic=81

Also check out the amazing WeChat - Chat with anyone, anywhere commercial on you tube here}

DIY Hair!!! Romancing with my tresses...

Growing up to the age when fairytales remain age old tales and we start believing in what’s real. From Bollywood to Hollywood, we idolize the actresses for their amazing tresses and dream to have similar hair ourselves. We even end up feeling jealous of that girl next door or on the metro for having such perfectly set hair every time.

Deepika and Kareena’s on screen looks leave us wanting for more and we think we too deserve to have gorgeous natural hairstyle. We try to copy their styles but our uncooperative hair leave us shattered. Our daily worry is to style up our hair and in turn it frames our mood for the day. Good and the bad hair days!

Today lot of us take the easier way and go to a saloon and leave it up to them to either turn you into an enviable princess or an OMG item to talk about at the gathering. I play it simple mostly, by either choosing a hairstyle for myself on web and instructing my stylist to apply the same or DIY my hair with many tutorials available online, provided my hair behaves.

My choice this time is Athena braided hair accessorized with a glam headband complimenting my floral summer dress and I am ready to rock. What’s better, a matching headband for my mini me (my daughter) and out we are for a friend’s kid’s birthday party. I and my mini Diva earned many applauds in the evening and all thanks to Tresemmé hair products, that made my hair life easier, as GLAMming it up is no more a rocket science.

Guess our market was waiting to adorn such a product that can turn a normal girl into a stylish chic and give her ramp ready hair.  Yes, ofcourse, you have to do it with confidence and right technique (watch Tresemmé’s you tube video for this perfection), like I did.... VIOLA!

Tresemmé helped me leave stunning impressions by wearing my hair like a diva. I styled my hair like a pro at home in a jiffy and it turned my belief into my trust in this amazing product. Braid or bun; twist or turn or naturally loose, style it yourself and romance with your Tresemmé tresses, it won’t let you down!

[Post done exclusively for the indiblogger's TRESEMME's RAMP READY HAIR contest ]

I love being a mother to my adorable daughter

My daughter is the most precious gift I have.

When ever I want a miracle to happen

I look at her and realise I have already created one!

With every passing day I love her more

It's now, I realise why I love my mother so much.

I feel special, 

I feel proud that my daughter will feel the same for me, what I felt for my mom.

Each day I plan for something new for her

What clothes, what headbands, what bed, what decor...

I have everything already planned in my mind. Now its for her to choose.

I loved shopping for myself, 

but now my eyes lay only on those cute lil clothes I want her to wear.

No one else will ever know the strength of my love for her, 

after all she is the only one who knows what my heart sounds like from inside.

Truly I feel blessed being a mom to my darling daughter 'Myrah'.

4 questions to ask yourself for a guilt-free shopping spree!

We, women, have our own excuses for a shopping spree. We blame our stress, PMS or a rift with spouse, for our shopping excursion. No matter why or when, shopping sprees are fun and very indulging. But, do you regret buying something later and call yourself an impulsive shopper? Does that word ‘Sale’ draws you buy something that you don’t want at all? The effects of these questions can be traumatizing. So before you ask yourself, “Why the heck did I buy that?” ask yourself these questions and keep away from losing your control or feeling feeble.

‘SALE’ …Are you buying just because it’s on sale?

Sale is something that tempts all your senses. You wonder what to buy and what not to… Bags, dress, shoes, accessories, after all who doesn’t love a good deal. The idea is to stop for 2 minutes and judge if it’s really worth a buy, and you don’t have anything similar lying in your wardrobe. Every purchase you do is either a need or a want. Differentiate and prioritize your needs from your wants. 

Do you love it or do you need it? 

How many times does it happen that, you walk into a store for one thing and walk out with ten things you don’t need? This time before you check out at the ‘Pay Here’ counter, check in with yourself. Is it something you need? Do you really love it and can’t live without it?

Can you afford it? 

Is it one of the most important questions which you want to ignore? Credit card has turned the tables around for every person now-a-days. But when it comes to paying those debts, we count every penny. Do you remember that famous shopaholic book series of Sophie Kinsella? Splurging while you shop is thrilling but all the thrill goes out of the window when the bill arrives at your home. So its utmost necessary to take note of our salary account and to know, really how much do we have to spend on ourselves. This may sound apparent, but if you can’t afford it, don’t buy it! Trust me it will lessen your stress later. And if you really love something, honestly save for it and earn it for yourself as a treat. 

Can you wait for 24 hours? 

A great way to stop yourself from getting into the trap of impulsive buying is to wait for 24 hours and think over it. Smile and ask the salesperson to put it on hold for you (most stores will do this for at least 1 day), go home and see if the item keeps revolving infront of your eye. If it does then go and purchase it the next day and if not, chuck it! Try once, and this doable test will help you plan your purchases without much effort. 

Make shopping guilt-free with these simple tricks. Save those little extras here and there and have a choice to splurge on that dress or shoes you lust for!

Behind Domestic Violence– A Fiction Depiction

In India more than 55% of women suffer from domestic violence. But is it only physical that qualifies for violence against women? I don’t buy this fact, violence of thoughts that thrashes women internally, makes her loose her confidence and her existence, is even worse. Physical wounds may heal tomorrow but the inner marks won’t.

This post is about a girl, whom I got to know virtually around 3 years back. We met on facebook and started to chat randomly. Today you might not get to see her or feel her, neither would this post make any difference to her, but being her virtual friend least I can do is let people know her.

Friends of friends setting of facebook, helped me get acquainted to her when she liked one of my blog post. Tabassum (name changed). Her profile photo was of a beautiful sunflower. Somehow we began with poking and then chatting. As I got to know her, she was a housewife in her mid 20’s. Her husband was a business man. Born and brought up in Bhopal, she moved to Kolkata after her marriage. In her alone time she used to surf internet to know some more of the world around.

I was on my annual leave those days, so with ample free time we got to chat more.

During our usual conversations, one day she asked me, “What do you usually wear? Do you wear kurtis and those colourful leggings which are in fashion these days”

I replied, “I mostly live in Kurtis and leggings”.

“I love them too, I can’t get my eyes off them when I go to the market” she said excitedly.

“So you too like to wear them?”

“I wish I could but my husband doesn’t like them. Though he doesn’t have a problem but my in-laws…..”

“So you should speak to your husband and make him understand that kurtis shouldn’t be a problem, infact half of India wears them today.”

“They are not much educated and have an orthodox mindset. My husband too is a college dropout.”

“Hmm… and by the way what have studied?”

“I have masters in computer science, but what’s the use they won’t let me work, it’s not in their traditions. L ”

Heavy in heart, I could type a word to that. Is this what India is?... How can a girl live with so many restrictions and boundations?

A few days later, it was the time when I met my husband and started falling for him, with love on my mind I made a random post on my blog about love, reading which she pinged me.

“So are you in love?”

“Yes luckily, have you ever fallen in love”

“Yes, in college days I had a boyfriend.”

“Then what happened, why didn’t you get married to him?”

“My parents didn’t approve of him, and arranged my marriage”

“What about your guy”

“I had to surrender to my parents wish and forget him”

“So do you love your husband now”

“Now as I have his child in my womb, it has to be love right?”

“What… are you expecting?”

“Yes… 7 months”

“Wow… all the best”

Since then, we chatted frequently, and she used to talk about her child and how she is developing and loving the feeling inside her. She wanted a son. Though she didn’t give me a valid reason to this, I knew that she won’t want her daughter to face similar situations in life.

When she was 8 months pregnant, she went to her maternal home to deliver the child. Since she didn’t have internet there, she promised be in touch on phone and inform me when the baby arrives.

After a few days she called me, and told me about her health and that her baby shower function went off well and her husband gifted her gold jewellery which was much of a reason of jealousy for her in-laws. I was annoyed. She was going through such beautiful phase of her life and they are being so insensitive.

Within 20 days, I got a text saying she delivered a baby boy as she wanted. I was very happy for her.

It was a peak season at my office, so I got buzy with work and had less time for social networking. Guess she too got occupied with her new baby.

Then one day she called me.

“Hi there!”

It was an unknown mobile no, so I asked, “Who’s this?”

“Tabassum here. You forgot”

She was sounding very happy but unfortunately I was buzy that moment, so promised to get back to her soon. But that soon didn’t come any sooner.

Then one day, a common friend of me and Tabassum pinged me.

“Did you get to know about Tabassum”

“No. What happened?”

“Her baby died”

“What?????!!!! HOWWW?” I was shocked to hear that.

“Her husband lifted the baby, and the baby slipped and got hit on head. Died on the way to hospital”

“How is Tabassum ?”

“Her neighbor told that she is shattered and out of her senses completely”

I remembered her dreams about her baby and of her life with the baby. The lists she had made for her baby needs, the names she had chosen, all gone now.

Few months passed, one day I texted the same friend on Watsapp to know about Tabassum.

“Hi. Any news of Tabassum?”

“What… You don’t know?”

“No… is she fine?”

“She is dead”

“Nooooooo… how do you know?”

“Same neighbor, also a friend of mine, told me. She had got cancer and her husband left her that time. She succumbed to her ailment and worries.”

I was thoughtless and speechless. How can life be so unfair to anyone? She knew no joy in her life, one joy that she got in the form of her baby was also gone. She died every moment after her baby died and to top it all her husband left her with all her troubles. She suffered the pain both physical and emotional.

What was her fault… had she asked for any thing unconventional?

Only wearing Kurtis and leggings and having her baby? Is it a lot for any girl to ask?

Her love, education, lifestyle, freedom, dreams, baby, family everything got snatched one by one.

Hope she is more than happy with her baby in heaven.

Don’t know how many Tabassum’s are dying everyday in India. Each one of us should stand for ourselves and for our rights. It’s high time now!!!!

Kai Po Che !!!

After the many success of Chetan Bhagat’s book 3 mistakes of my life here comes a movie inspired by his story. Though I liked his other books better but still I could resist myself from watching kai po che. Wondering was it the novel or Sushant who dragged me to the movie hall leaving my 5 mth old with her granny.

No wonder the movie did justice to the book, since it was directed by the same man who made Rang de Basanti, one of my favourites. The story talks about everything that is needed to make for a grasping storyline– Friendship, love, business, politics, cricket.

Unlike its earlier glossy counterpart Rock on, the story line here has simple and unconventional rooting. Based out of the simple town of Ahmedabad the movie is all about the three friends Ishaan (Sushant); Omi (Amit) and Govind (Rajkumar). All three with different attitudes towards life, pool in their resources to open up a small sports shop cum coaching centre. Ishaan, a brilliant cricketer in his school days, coaches the young wannabe cricketers, Govind with his calulative and sharp instincts handles the accounts while also teaching mathematics and Omi with his strong political background, gathers fund for the shop from his politician uncle. Things look wonderful just when some twists shake up not only their friendship and business but their lives too.

Things turn around when they lose their newly acquired shop in fierce Gujarat earthquakes. Pushed under debts from his uncle, Omi was dragged to politics while Govind falls for Ishaan’s sister whom he teaches maths and Ishaan, impressed by the cricket skills of a small muslim boy, commits himself to groom him for Ranji Trophy, a dream he had for himself sometime back. Storyline advances with scenes of communal divide, love complexes and political woos, but is able to catch your attention.

Though with no high point as such, like we have seen in Rang de Basanti or Rock on, Kai Po Che manages to showcase a normal dramatic life, where one can’t resist a smile on instances like celebration of their first earnings on top of the bus or their dive into the sea from a fort. A good impactful watch, that might leave you heavy hearted at the end.

Without any doubt, Kai Po che deserves a 4 star from me. It proves that a strong story line makes for a grand success. The three lead actors convincingly portrayed their characters, while Sushant as Ishaan stole the show with his charm, Amit proved himself as a boy with high thinking and simple living, and Omi depicted successfully the confusion of his character between friendship and politics. Director, Abhishek Kapoor, showed his great work again and blended seamlessly the sensitive issues of Gujarat riots in the movie.

After being impressed with 3 Idiots and Kai Po che, I  am waiting for more movies inspired from books like the Zoya Factor and 2 states. 

Modern Motherhood – Changes and Challenges

“Of all the rights of women, the greatest is to be a mother.”

Times have changed and so has the way of mothering a child. They were days when elder women in the family used to guide a girl towards this new phase of her life but today with changing times, there are books and internet. To be a good mother was a dilemma earlier but a pressure now.

At home:::: You are working, then how can you be a good mother…. Are you going to breastfeed and co-sleep with the baby… who will take care of the baby when you are out working… Won’t you feel guilty for not giving enough time to your baby…. etc.

At Work:::: Will you be able to manage work on time with a baby at home…. Will you be as fresh with ideas after a sleep deprived night… will you be able to attend the meetings or travel for work …. What is on priority your work or baby… and so on.

Yes with many aids in market, keeping baby happy and hygienic without investing much time is easy, but that’s not all. Modern and liberal women has many more challenges to cope up with.

Is liberal motherhood bad for feminism?

No. If you have a way, you are confident about, then certainly not. May be what is bad, is the inability of Indian work culture to have flexible schedules and work situations, where nursing moms are respected and are provided with appropriate space. May be what is bad is for her elders to think that she cannot handle work and home both. May be what is bad is sometimes the woman is made to feel sorry for even being a mother.  We need corporates and bosses to understand that if they give a little flexibility, provide them the right working environment, and focus on results rather than time in the office; then women or even men for that matter, can practice any kind of parenting that fits their style, life and family without having to choose parenting style or career.

Woman Vs Woman

9 out 10 times it’s a woman’s question that instills the guilt factor in a mother. You won’t feel more judgemental or guilty, then when another mother gives you just that weird look. Everyone is different and have their own style of raising their kids. Some want to make their kids independent from the start while others want to be with their kids at every step. One should respect each other’s feeling, and as a woman, support other women.

At work? Why feel embarrassed to ask for your needs

Sheryl Sandberg, the 43 year old Facebook COO, is a mother of two and an accomplished woman at work. She leaves office at 5:30 to be with her kids for dinner. She is fabulous at work, then why should the time she leaves office should be of concern to anyone?  As long as she is prompt in meetings, plans and finishes her work on deadlines, her motherhood style shouldn't be anyone’s business. She has opened up at work to ask for her rights being a mother and that has changed her life. Today she is an icon and her life can challenge any orthodox definition of being a good mother.

So, the problem is not your choice to be a liberal modern mother. The problem is that people judge personal decisions, and businesses don’t want to change the way they are. Ladies, it’s time to speak up like Sheryl did. Let the outside corporate world know that you can be passionate about your motherhood and still top the charts at work. Challenge the world and make the change happen!